Have you been waiting for Prince Charming to come along and sweep you away? Do you feel empty and want someone to fix your self-esteem and make you feel pretty and smart? Dr. Robin says if you are looking for a rescuer, look no further than yourself. "It is so tempting to look for someone else to fix you, to fill your heart, to fill your soul and your mind," she says. "It is not someone else's job to fix that which is broken in you—it is your job."
Stop sitting on the sidelines thinking someone is going to come along and make your life full and complete, Dr. Robin says. If you let someone else be the source of your love and self-esteem, you can get hurt in the long run, she says. "If someone else fills those empty spaces, guess what? They can take back what they gave you," she says.
Dr. Robin says you should evaluate your life and figure out what needs to be fixed. "Figure out what is it that is shattered," she says. "Is it your relationship? Is it your mind? Is it your own ability to see yourself as deserving and worthy?" Once you know what needs to be fixed, Dr. Robin says you should experiment with ways of rescuing yourself. Try getting together with friends and laugh and relax, or go somewhere quiet and reflect.
Published on June 12, 2007