As the father of four, Dr. Oz says fatherhood is an important part of his life—but one that can be challenging as well. To get some insight and advice, Dr. Oz talks with author Hugh O'Neill about his book A Man Called Daddy
Hugh says the traits of being strong, assertive and stoic are often desired by men, but they are not the desired traits of fatherhood. "The things that make us 'good men' are absolutely useless for a parent—in fact, they are [often] counterproductive," he says. "I think, in general, a guy has to bring forward a whole other set of skills and traits to be a good father."
Hugh offers these principles for fatherhood that can help men get closer to their children:
- You have to be both big and small. "The challenge for a father or a mother is to find the balance point," Hugh says.
- Try not to spin things. Instead of offering a solution to every problem, just be a good listener and support system, he says.
- Raise your voice less. "Men, in general, have a lot of anger issues," Hugh says. Try to approach fatherhood with less anger and a gentler tone.
- Spend more one-on-one time with your children. "If you can make yourself give them a brief period of time, it's not just better for them, it's [also] so much better for you," he says. "I'm trying to help men be better fathers for the kids, but I am also trying to help men enjoy fatherhood more."
- Hug your children often, but give them space when needed. "Kids have to know you are there and you care for them," he says. "But, if you get too close to them, they are really going to bridle."