Both personally and professionally, Rabbi Shmuley says it's better to be loved than feared. So how do you change a fear-based environment into a love-based one? Rabbi Shmuley offers these tips in marriage, parenting and office settings:
- In marriage: Your spouse shouldn't choose to be faithful because he's afraid of being caught, Rabbi Shmuley says. "They have to choose to be faithful because they love you and they wouldn't want to hurt you," he says.
- In parenting: Avoid being too critical of your children, Rabbi Shmuley says. Move them from being afraid of you to being in awe of you, he says. "They should look up to you, admire you and respect you."
- In the workplace: Create an office environment where people feel like they're an important part of the company, Rabbi Shmuley says. "A company that trusts its employees and treats them with humanity is one that succeeds and grows," he says.
"In the age-old question on whether it's better to be feared or loved, fear has an immediate response, but those are short lived. Fear doesn't bring about a transformation of the spirit—only love does. When you get people around you to do things through love
, they will do the right thing all the time, whether or not you're watching."