Have you ever had a friend come to you with a problem that you desperately wanted to fix? Dr. Robin says that more often than not, our job is to listen and help that person find the truth that's within them. "When you're in dire need of someone's love and support, often what you're really needing is a comforting ear, a heart that's open to your pain," Dr. Robin says. "You're not really needing someone to fix it, because no one can fix your life but you."
When someone else needs to talk, Dr. Robin says we shouldn't feel it's our responsibility to find all the answers. "Don't feel helpless because you haven't been able to ride in on a charger and solve the whole problem, because remember, that's not your job to solve someone else's challenges in their own life," she says.
Dr. Robin says that just being available to talk is an invaluable gift that you can impart on the people you care about. "Your job is to be there when they need to talk—to be available, to be open—and to simply show up with compassion and with a heart and an ear that is leaning toward that side of tenderness that your friend is looking for in you," she says.
Published on June 28, 2007