When you keep a goldfish in a small tank, Dr. Robin says that fish will never get any larger. If you move the goldfish to a bigger tank, Dr. Robin says that fish will embrace its new space and grow. "I want you to be like the goldfish and be like a good owner of a goldfish," Dr. Robin says. "The only way to grow yourself to living a life that is worthy of you, worthy of your time on the planet, is to enlarge your tank—to enlarge your space, to enlarge your territory."

If you want your marriage, job, parenting skills and dreams to grow, Dr. Robin says you need to seek out a more knowledge and opportunities. Talking with your spouse about problems in your marriage or moving to a larger company to seek higher pay and more opportunities may seem like scary propositions, but Dr. Robin says it's necessary if you want to grow as a person. "If we are not growing, we're dying," she says. "If your thoughts aren't growing and your spirituality and your marriage isn't growing, then it is quietly or not so quietly dying away."