Yes, it's embarrassing to walk into the bookstore and reveal that you want or need these books. But the truth is that not knowing how your body really works or what makes your partner ecstatically and orgasmically happy (and don't think that because your partner's a man it's so obvious) or how to deal with bodily changes (pregnancy, menopause, disability, impotence) is what should be embarrassing.

Get a sex book so things don't fester or worry you or puzzle you or elude you. Get a book so that you don't have to go through a long, dull, shaming patch in which neither of you can express your desires...or your dislikes.

And if you can't bring yourself to go into your local bookstore and meet a stranger's gaze while buying a sex book, be glad you live in this great country of ours. You can find it online.

Amy Bloom's most recent book is Normal: Transsexual CEOs, Crossdressing Cops, and Hermaphrodites with Attitude (Random House).