2 of 3
The 'And' Stance
If someone is setting up a choice between what you believe and what she believes, you can reject that model and embrace both ideas, even if they oppose each other. Such a switch from "either/or" thinking to the "and" stance is the idea of the Harvard Negotiation Project, a group of scholars working to improve conflict resolution (from having difficult conversations with a spouse to resolving armed border conflicts in South America). The mere act of understanding what someone says doesn't require you to give up your own belief. Regardless of whether your opinion influences hers or vice versa, both matter.