Oprah: By the time this article is in print, you will have taped your last episode of Sex and the City. Is that scary?
Sarah Jessica Parker: What a hard decision it was to end the show! I kept asking myself, How's the party faring? And how am I faring? Right now the party's in full swing, and I hope the audience feels the same. But I don't want to crawl across the finish line with bloodied hands. And as scary as it is to leave—and as lucrative as it would be to stay—sometimes you have to do what's risky.
Oprah: So you're okay with closing Carrie's wardrobe closet?
SJP: For now, yes. But I'm very attached to the crew. I work more with them than I do with the other women, who aren't on the set every day.
Oprah: I understand—the crew become like family. On my desk, I've got a picture of my stage manager, Dean, right there next to Stedman and the dogs.
SJP: That's Bettiann Fishman [first assistant director] for me. I worry about the crew. For them, wrapping up is not just an artistic decision. They're providing for two or three children. So to say to them, "Your job will end in 2004" is a big deal, and I took it seriously. Now that I have this new vocation as a producer, I'll make movies in New York, and they'll be like my repertory company.
Oprah: That's not the same as working every day. But I know you also needed to make this decision for yourself and your family.
SJP: I want to be home with the boy and spend time with him. I want to take him to school. I don't want to be a parent who just hears about some milestone in his life.
Oprah: Have you gotten any sleep since he arrived?
SJP: I'm extraordinarily lucky to have a healthy boy, and I love nothing more than spending time with him. But I do miss my sleep. Even when I'm working [and away overnight], I'm filled with so much anxiety and guilt that I might as well be awake.
Oprah: So I'm talking to a sleep-deprived woman right now.
SJP: Yes. Most of my friends in New York are single women or gay men. And it's taken some time to be able to say, "I can't go to dinner with you. I want to put my son to bed." It's a whole new way of thinking, and it's spectacular. I'm privileged to get to experience it and wrestle with it. But it is brand-new, and at almost 40, it can be weighty.
SJP: Because it's the thing I most want to excel at.
Oprah: Do you want more children?
SJP: Someone once told me that children are like heroin. You always want more. Yet firstborns are special because you'll never have your first child again.
Oprah: Just like your first love.
SJP: I think that's why people have a hard time aging. The firsts go away—first love, first baby, first kiss. You have to create new ones.
We Hear You!