Oprah: Well, lazy you are not!

Jay: Don't forget, I'm in a field where the rewards are so huge compared to the amount of work I put in. If you work with disabled kids and you spend a year teaching a kid to tie his shoelace and then he forgets, that's a lot harder work than I do. My job is not that tough. There's not a lot of paperwork, and there's no lifting. It's just time-consuming.

Oprah: I got it. But how do you make your marriage work? Aren't you gone a lot?

Jay: Yes, but not for days. I always fly home the same night. And if I go somewhere interesting, Mavis goes with me.

Oprah: Didn't you once tell me that your marriage works because of the kind of woman Mavis is?

Jay: Yes. I think a woman's sexuality is in direct proportion to her intelligence.

Oprah: And you're married to a very smart woman.

Jay: I never quite understood the appeal of dumb women, since I can't spell. If I'm with somebody who can spell, then I look smart for free.

Oprah: You not only have a speller but a reader.

Jay: She's wonderful.

Oprah: Why do you think you've found happiness in your marriage?

Jay: Because there's nothing worth arguing about. I married a sensible, intelligent person, and if we want this thing to work bad enough, then it can. It's very logical.

Oprah: Would you say there's strong communication between the two of you?

Jay: I think so. Nothing was more fun than making my mom laugh or pleasing my mom. So I've transferred that to my wife. Now don't get it confused: I don't see my wife as my mom. But making her happy or making her laugh is a priority.

Oprah: My friend Gayle saw Mavis at one of your shows and said Mavis was laughing out loud at every one of your jokes.

Jay: That's nice. I know there are certain things that will always make my wife laugh—like anything involving the cat. If she's feeling sad, I will take the cat, go in the other room, and the cat and I will have a discussion. It's usually, "No, you can't have a dollar." Then the cat meows. I say, "Yeah, I'm sure the Kitty Council has a lot of power to make me do that." And then I hear her laugh!