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Holiday Dos and Don'ts

Expectations
By Alice Domar, PhD, and Alice Lesch Kelly
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  • Do remind yourself that the holidays may have been so wonderful in childhood because you had no responsibility for making the magic. If you have grown-up expectations, you won't be so disappointed.
  • Do make a list of all your traditions, from decorating to Christmas caroling. Keep the ones you love (forget about impressing other people), and cross off the ones you don't.
  • Don't think twice about asking guests to bring food to your holiday party. Why should you have to do all the cooking when most people are perfectly happy with a potluck?
  • Don't feel sorry for yourself if you have no parties to go to. Throw your own, and feel good inviting others who may not have invitations themselves.
  • Do have compassion for yourself during the holidays. If you're not in a celebratory mood, you're not the only one.
  • Do seek professional help if life doesn't seem worth living.
  • Do try returning to your old church or synagogue if you're feeling spiritually disconnected; if that doesn't work, go with friends to their places of worship.
  • Don't feel pressured to make a spiritual connection during this holiday. Set it as a goal to work on next year. Knowing you have a plan will help you feel better immediately.
 
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From the November 2002 issue of O, The Oprah Magazine

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