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HOLIDAY EXPECTATIONS
The Dos and Don'ts

Do remind yourself that the holidays may have been so wonderful in childhood because you had no responsibility for making the magic. If you have grown-up expectations, you won't be so disappointed.
Do make a list of all your traditions, from decorating to Christmas caroling. Keep the ones you love (forget about impressing other people), and cross off the ones you don't.
Don't think twice about asking guests to bring food to your holiday party. Why should you have to do all the cooking when most people are perfectly happy with a potluck?
Don't feel sorry for yourself if you have no parties to go to. Throw your own, and feel good inviting others who may not have invitations themselves.
Do have compassion for yourself during the holidays. If you're not in a celebratory mood, you're not the only one.
Do seek professional help if life doesn't seem worth living.
Do try returning to your old church or synagogue if you're feeling spiritually disconnected; if that doesn't work, go with friends to their places of worship.
Don't feel pressured to make a spiritual connection during this holiday. Set it as a goal to work on next year. Knowing you have a plan will help you feel better immediately.

Holiday Dos and Don'ts
Family
Gifts
Expectations
Health

Get more holiday help in the November 2002 issue of O, The Oprah Magazine. Subscribe now!