The Widlunds' Emotional Debt - Debt Diet Part 3

The Oprah Winfrey Show | January 01, 2006

Although Marnie says she creates diversions and distractions to get Mark's attention, Dr. Robin says Marnie knows they trigger Mark's emotional shutdown. "Those distractions are to actually keep him checked out," Dr. Robin says. "I watched him check in. I know he's able to check in. Your distractions help the cycle of keeping him checked out."

Marnie's angry outbursts also keep Mark shutdown. "I don't want to get her angry about it," Mark says. "She's scary. She'll lash out at me." Does Marnie know he's afraid of her anger? "Of course!" she says.

Instead of giving up and keeping quiet, Dr. Robin says Mark needs to take the power back and be aware of his reactions. If not, Mark and Marnie's marriage could be headed for disaster. "It's one of the surest ways to kill a marriage—that kind of silence," says Dr. Robin. "Because underneath it is such rage."

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