Marnie tells Dr. Robin she thinks her reckless spending is a form of self-sabotage. "I think I create a lot of drama so that you never have to see...me," Marnie says. Dr. Robin agrees and says Marnie's constant need for diversions—like shopping, crafts, and other people's problems—and her cavalier, flippant attitude are also ways Marnie hides her pain and feelings of low self-worth. "It is self-destructive not just to you, but to your marriage, and it's harming your children," says Dr. Robin.
Marnie, like many parents, says she feels torn between giving her children everything and giving them a strong work ethic. "The saddest part is you have the best intentions," says Marnie. "Your intentions are to give your children everything and you want them to be successful."
Oprah says Marnie, like many others, is living her life unconsciously—never thinking about the consequences of her actions. "If you just give your kids everything, what are you intending to do by that action?" Oprah asks Marnie. "There's no intention without a consequence. For every action, there is going to be an equal and opposite reaction. That is physical law [as well as] a spiritual law."
Marnie says she was never denied anything growing up and never had to face any negative consequences—but Dr. Robin says otherwise. "You are paying the consequences right now," Dr. Robin points out to Marnie. "The fact that [your parents] did not have boundaries ... that is a form of neglect that you have now passed on."