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Dr. Robin says the Bradleys' marriage is also on shaky ground because they're not participating as equal partners. Lisa says she sees Steven as a "father figure" and wants him to "set boundaries." Dr. Robin says Steven takes on the role of a parent who takes care of Lisa but spoils her at the same time.

To bridge their emotional gap, Dr. Robin tells the Bradleys they need to abandon these parent-child roles. "When you show up as her husband and you show up as his wife—not a child—we're now talking about the ability to create real intimacy, real warmth, and real passion and desire," says Dr. Robin. "And I know it is what you want, but it can't happen with this power differential."

As long as the Bradleys deal with these tough issues, Jean guarantees the money problems will be easy to solve. "So often the financial problems, they're the symptom, they are not the underlying problems," says Jean. "These are just habits and behaviors that we picked up along the way because it made it possible for us to continue this facade, this lie that we were carrying out. The whole healing process has to come from deeper, it has to come from within."

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FROM: The Debt Diet: Part 3
Published on January 01, 2006

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