Lisa says she thinks she overspends now to compensate for things she didn't have growing up. "It's almost like I reverted back to my childhood and decided to buy my Christmas toys, except they're not Barbie dolls anymore," Lisa says. "I didn't get the Barbie car when I was little, but I'm going to drive the Barbie car now."
Instead of buying things, Dr. Robin says Lisa must face her childhood shame head-on and gain control of her emotions. "You were out of control from the very beginning," says Dr. Robin. "[The] child in you—the wounded child that lives in all of us—was driving in the front seat of your adult life. That child needs to be put in the back seat, cared for, nurtured and reminded that there is now an adult who can look out for her."
Dr. Robin says Lisa is not alone—everyone struggling with financial debt is "trying to fill a spiritual wound with a cheap surrogate." "BMW may not sound cheap, but for a child who is aching to feel like she was enough, for a child who was aching to feel the safety and comfort in his own life, a BMW can't ever touch that wound," says Dr. Robin. "What becomes more dangerous is the deeper the wound, the more I go spend."
"Everybody is trying to fill their wound," Oprah adds. "And the wound is the same for everybody when you get down to it. It is: 'Am I enough?'"