Different Spending Styles
It might seem strange that Jason has bought his own home yet also has huge credit card debt, but it isn't that unusual. He says his habit has been to make a budget using only what he brings in. In the past, though, he has had to cover unexpected expenses with his credit card. This is one reason he is afraid that he can't control his spending—and that his spending will end up controlling him.
Veronica's style is different. When she wants or needs something—a new coat, an expensive handbag, even to pay off a credit card—she goes out and earns the money for it. This worries Jason. Deep down, he admits, he feels a little guilty about buying the things he does. He also feels pressure to take extra work.
Veronica, who has paid off a huge amount of debt, would like to see him plan to buy things rather than just get them. And his joking objections to Veronica's way of dealing with money set her teeth on edge and remind her of the way her father used to talk to her mother.
I advised them to set up three accounts: two individual checking accounts, to use for private needs and wants, and one account for joint expenses, in which both partners deposit equal percentages of their income, not equal amounts of money. And when Veronica earns extra money for the things she wants, a percentage of that money should be treated as income for joint purposes and go into their joint account; Jason needs to use his extra refinancing money to pay his credit card debt. In this way they are never taking from each other but always adding to what they have together.