3. Talk and Listen
Saying no is not the end. It is just the beginning of your quest to help a loved one. It is vitally important to start talking and listening to each other. Be clear and honest. This is not the time to couch your feelings for fear that you will hurt their feelings. Talk about your feelings, about how it makes you feel when they come to you for money, as if your only role is to be their personal ATM. Do not be mad or make accusations. Talk with love, from your heart, about how their situation affects you personally and how you see it affecting your relationship. Then listen with the same compassionate heart.

When you commit to compassionate conversation, you are putting your words into action, say: I love you, and I want to support you as you figure out how to solve this problem for yourself and by yourself.

4. Commit to Faith, Integrity and Courage
It is not easy to say no to those you love. But when it comes to a financial intervention, it is always the right thing to do. To help you help those you love, keep these thoughts close to your heart:

• Faith: You have to have faith in who you are. You have to have faith in who the other person is. You have to have faith that everything happens for the best.
• Integrity: Every word you speak, every word you write must be the truth. For it is only when we are honest with ourselves and those we love that we can own the power to control our destiny and help those we love control theirs.
• Courage: That from this day forward you will always:
  • Do what is right, not what is easy.
  • Give to yourself as much as you give of yourself.
  • Say no out of love verses yes out of fear.

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