Try to do so in the context of getting somewhere as a family. Focus on the endgame. Talk about what you want your money to do for you. What are your shared goals as a couple? As parents? Do you want to pay off the house? Travel to Greece? Put the kids through college with as few loans as possible? Retire promptly at 65? Well, okay then!
If you disagree about the goals, compromise. Even agreeing to disagree about certain things is part of the process. These are the important things, not the size of your individual paychecks. The size of your paychecks is relevant only to whether there's enough there—combined—in order to make those things possible. And if there's not, then you both modify the goals, or modify your jobs, to make them possible. But you do it working together. You keep the lines of communication open.
Do it, say this, and sound smart: "That raise you got will really help us pay off the car this year. Then we can focus on stockpiling for college."
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