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1. "The bills aren't my job."
I'm unfortunately very familiar with this lie. When the recession sunk its claws into our lives, and my husband, Dan, was left unemployed for over nine months before going back to school, we realized that there were some little lies we'd gotten into the habit of telling ourselves that were making it harder for us to bail out. By then we'd had our first child, and the combination of the recession and becoming a mom all in a matter of months had left me overwhelmed. One night, when my son was two weeks old, I said to Dan: "I can't do the bills anymore. They have to be your job." Now, it's true that busy families often divvy up the tasks—"You clean the kitchen while I put the kids to sleep"—and the bills can feel like just another one of those parceled-out chores. Except here's the problem: Dropping that mountain on one person's shoulders, especially during tough times, and thinking that they'll be able to manage it while you enjoy some blissful ignorance can lead to even more stress. It's really important that both people in a partnership know what's going on with the finances. Although Dan took over with aplomb, we soon realized that we needed to put our heads together and strategize. Soon, the cliff before us felt scalable.


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