A: A rift is starting to form? From what you tell me, the Grand Canyon should have formed by now. But before we pass judgment on your boyfriend, it's important to try to figure out why he's acting this way. Maybe he was taken advantage of financially in his last relationship and has no desire to support someone else, or perhaps he's still trying to heal his broken heart by overspending on things that he hopes will fix it. I'd be willing to bet that the reason he's divorced has a lot to do with the spending habits you describe.
Whatever the cause, it concerns me that you haven't managed to address this issue yet. I know money can be a tricky topic, but it's also too serious a factor in our lives to run from. So I want you to gather yourself up and ask him to talk this through with you. Make it clear you aren't looking for him to “save” you, but you need to better understand exactly how he feels when he showers himself with toys while watching you struggle to meet your basic needs. Does he realize what's going on? Does he care?
You can also use this conversation as a starting point for becoming more financially intimate. If your boyfriend is open to it, then this is the right time for you both to divulge your assets, debts, FICO scores, and goals for the future. This heart-to-heart will give you an indication as to whether you really have a caring, responsible partner you might want to spend the rest of your life with. But if you find out that the two of you aren't the perfect picture of financial health, you might want to head out and strike gold on your own.