A general rule is that your best partner will be the person who makes you shake your head in disbelief and mutter, "I guess it takes all kinds." Because it does. (And it may help to remember that your conative compadres will be looking at you the same way.) One more hint: Because most people are moderately or very strong in more than one conative area, your Fellowship could be formed with just one companion—if that person is strong in the one or two areas in which you are weak.
Once you've got your group in place, I recommend that you take a little bit of time to discuss your opposites-attract strategy with your Fellowship. Yvonne and I work together successfully because we've always acknowledged our conative differences. When I hanker to move faster than Yvonne, she reminds me, "Settle down, woman! You hired me to be a follow-through!" When she yearns for a coworker who doesn't think quite so much like a Labrador retriever, I point out that my quick-start enthusiasm gives her a whole lot of things to organize. Do the same with your Fellowship, and you'll remind yourself that everyone benefits when all four conative styles are covered.
This year I'm going to urge Marlene, Ellie, Karla, and Chip to join forces. Once people assemble in such unlikely Fellowships, they realize an equally unlikely result: success. Whether your resolution is to lose weight, budget better, cut back on Internet poker, or slog to Mordor carrying the Ring of Doom, finding your motley crew of opposites will help you make it all the way to your goals—and the Fellowship itself, I believe, will bring great joy. Especially if it includes Viggo Mortensen.
Martha Beck is the author of six books. Her most recent is Steering By Starlight (Rodale).
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