Q: I am engaged to and have a child with a man going through a drawn-out divorce. My fiancé is desperately trying to wrap up the proceedings so that we can get married and move on. But his ex won't settle because she wants to take him to the cleaners. They were married for 17 years and have three children. My fiancé can't change any legal documents, such as his will or life insurance, until after the divorce is finalized. If anything happened to him, I'd be left in the cold (he regularly works in a very dangerous country). How do I make sure my baby and I have a secure future?
A: Security is never found in what another person can do for you; it's always found in what you can do for yourself and others. It's up to you to create the financial security you want for yourself and your child, and that in turn will build your emotional strength—you'll see that you'll be okay no matter what happens with your fiancé.
While he can't change his current life insurance policy, there's no reason you can't ask him to take out a new one to protect you and your child. Even better, why don't you take out the policy? That's taking control! As I explain in Buying Life Insurance , term protection is simple and affordable. See if you can buy a policy that covers his life and makes you the beneficiary.
That takes care of you; now let's see how you can help your fiancé. No doubt he's going through a horrific time, not only financially but also emotionally. To further secure your future, you need to help him secure his by showing him you have plenty of strength for all three of you, at least until he can settle his affairs.
Printed from Oprah.com on Wednesday, December 11, 2013