What Oprah Knows For Sure About Letting Go
Photo: Ruven Afanador
I've mastered the art of letting go so well, I forget to be angry. Ask anyone who really knows me, and they will confirm: I don't hold grudges very long.
I learn the lesson, yes (this person cannot be trusted—or is toxic, dangerous, rude, whatever), but the grinding replay of what was done or said, looping over and over in my head, I let go.
For me, it comes from years of practice. And from listening, over the decades, to thousands of stories from people who couldn't release the past and got stuck in it. For sure, that's one of the great tragedies of human behavior I've witnessed: seeing grown men and women who can't stop playing the mind tape from an event that happened days, weeks, sometimes years ago.
What a loss of precious time and energy, being a prisoner by your own hand, laden with the burdens of the past.
Eckhart Tolle speaks beautifully of this in his book A New Earth, when he shares the story of two Zen monks:
Tanzan and Ekido...were walking along a country road that had become extremely muddy after heavy rains. Near a village, they came upon a young woman who was trying to cross the road, but the mud was so deep, it would have ruined the silk kimono she was wearing. Tanzan at once picked her up and carried her to the other side.
The monks walked on in silence. Five hours later, as they were approaching the lodging temple, Ekido couldn't restrain himself any longer. "Why did you carry that girl across the road?" he asked. "We monks are not supposed to do things like that."
"I put the girl down hours ago," said Tanzan. "Are you still carrying her?"
That's reality for so many people. Maybe you're one of them, holding on to what happened or what you think should have happened.
But I ask you: For what purpose? To feel right? Righteous? Justified? Validated?
Proving I was right used to be a major character flaw. I had to do some conscious work to change it.
A single question got me started: Do you want to be right, or do you want peace? Those 11 words released me years ago and put me on the path to freedom.
Whatever your reason for holding on to resentments, I know this for sure: There is none worth the price you pay in lost time. Time you could have given yourself to love and live more fully. Time you can never make up.
The time is now. Let go!
I learn the lesson, yes (this person cannot be trusted—or is toxic, dangerous, rude, whatever), but the grinding replay of what was done or said, looping over and over in my head, I let go.
For me, it comes from years of practice. And from listening, over the decades, to thousands of stories from people who couldn't release the past and got stuck in it. For sure, that's one of the great tragedies of human behavior I've witnessed: seeing grown men and women who can't stop playing the mind tape from an event that happened days, weeks, sometimes years ago.
What a loss of precious time and energy, being a prisoner by your own hand, laden with the burdens of the past.
Eckhart Tolle speaks beautifully of this in his book A New Earth, when he shares the story of two Zen monks:
Tanzan and Ekido...were walking along a country road that had become extremely muddy after heavy rains. Near a village, they came upon a young woman who was trying to cross the road, but the mud was so deep, it would have ruined the silk kimono she was wearing. Tanzan at once picked her up and carried her to the other side.
The monks walked on in silence. Five hours later, as they were approaching the lodging temple, Ekido couldn't restrain himself any longer. "Why did you carry that girl across the road?" he asked. "We monks are not supposed to do things like that."
"I put the girl down hours ago," said Tanzan. "Are you still carrying her?"
That's reality for so many people. Maybe you're one of them, holding on to what happened or what you think should have happened.
But I ask you: For what purpose? To feel right? Righteous? Justified? Validated?
Proving I was right used to be a major character flaw. I had to do some conscious work to change it.
A single question got me started: Do you want to be right, or do you want peace? Those 11 words released me years ago and put me on the path to freedom.
Whatever your reason for holding on to resentments, I know this for sure: There is none worth the price you pay in lost time. Time you could have given yourself to love and live more fully. Time you can never make up.
The time is now. Let go!
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