Mind and Body
Foreplay...All Day?

"I think foreplay begins all day." — Oprah

Dr. Hilda Hutcherson says that statistically, only about 29% of women find it easy to orgasm during intercourse. What that means is that 71% of women find it difficult to orgasm during intercourse!

According to Dr. Hutcherson, most women need to expand their definition of sex. Think of sex as a banquet: Intercourse is just one delicacy. There are many other things you can do to pleasure each other!

Start Outside of the Bedroom
Foreplay starts hours, even days, before you start intercourse. Dr. Hutcherson says, "Women tell me every day, 'I wish I could get a little tenderness outside the bedroom.'" Here are some things you can do.
Tell your partner that you need affection! Ask him to tell you something nice during the day, not just when you get into the bedroom.
Start kissing more...having real kisses.
Hold hands and touch in a non-sexual way. When you touch, your body releases a chemical called oxytocin that helps people bond. This is the same chemical new mothers release that helps create stronger bonds with their child. The same type of bonding can happen between couples.
Don't make intercourse the most important thing in the relationship.

When He's Satisfied and You Aren't!
The solution: Lots and lots and lots of foreplay! Because intercourse is not an efficient way for a woman to orgasm, Dr. Hutcherson says to ask for as much as an hour of foreplay before intercourse. Women often don't experience enough tenderness and foreplay, and therefore never climax. Make sure you get to a high state of arousal before having intercourse.

There are also techniques you can use to help your partner prolong intercourse. You can find more specifics in Part V of What Your Mother Never Told You About Sex called, "When Sex Isn't Great."

More Reasons You May Be Dissatisfied
There are many reasons healthy women are dissatisfied with sex other than not being aroused. If more foreplay isn't working, here are some explanations Dr. Hutcherson says are worth considering.
Low self-esteem
Medications can prevent women from experiencing pleasure.
Remember to change your definition of sex! It's not just intercourse.

Message Board How do you talk to your partner about foreplay?

More advice from Dr. Hutcherson.