Mind and Body


THE STRESS-DETECTOR TEST
By Dr. Alice Domar and Alice Lesch Kelly

You're too anxious to sleep. Your nerves are supersizing. Nails—what nails? Are you suffering from ordinary stress? Or flipping off the charts? Alice Dormer, PhD, the director of the Mind/Body Center for Women's Health at Boston IVF, has designed a quiz to help you get a handle on your anxiety quotient. All you need is your mouse. Calm down. Breathe. No pressure. Not a soul will know how you score but you.
At Home
1. You're having friends over for dinner and the house is a mess. Do you...
A) Leave the house as is or spend a few minutes cleaning it up, figuring you friends won't mind a bit of chaos.
B) Spend a couple of hours decluttering.
C) Take the day off from work and scrub the house from top to bottom.
D) Clean all day and then get a migraine right before the guests arrive.
2. How well do you keep up with responsibilities at home?
A) Each day you do a few chores so tasks won't accumulate.
B) Once a week you tackle whatever needs doing.
C) You've been known to wear dirty clothes to work because there's no clean laundry. You pay bills once a month, usually right before their due dates.
D) Who has a chance to pay bills?
3. What's the food situation at home?
A) You make relatively healthy meals and occasionally order takeout for a break.
B) You shop and cook for the weekend to stock the freezer for a week.
C) Cooking is a chore you don't have time for.
D) You make so many trips to McDonald's, the kids think vegetable is French—and fried.
E) Your family can't remember the last time everyone sat down together for a meal that didn't come out of a wrapper.
4. Is money a sore subject?
A) It's just about killing you. You're buried in a financial hole, and you don't know how to dig yourself out.
B) You sometimes struggle to pay minimum balances on credit cards and are chronically short on cash.
C) You often forgo purchases because there isn't enough money, and you owe more than you'd like to.
D) You can cover your bills.
E) You aren't Bill Gates, but you have enough to provide for your family and pay for emergencies.
In Relationships
5. How are things with your significant other? (If you are single, skip to question 6.)
A) You're really happy with your partner.
B) You're having more spats than you used to, you've gone to bed mad at times, but you always make up eventually and are glad to be together.
C) Most of the time you're annoyed at your partner.
D) If the right person walked into your life, you'd have an affair in a minute. In fact, you'd leave now, but you're afraid of ending up alone.
6. You are single and feeling...(If you answered question 5, skip to question 7.)
A) Totally fulfilled.
B) It would be great if you met somebody. You really dread Saturday nights.
C) Practically everyone in the solar system knows you're in the market for a partner.
D) You're totally panicking.
7. How stressful is your relationship with your parents?
A) One of your parents is very ill and requires round-the-clock care.
B) Your parents are asking for more time than you can give.
C) They're getting older, but they try hard not to be a burden.
D) Your parents are a great source of support.
8. How do you feel about children?
A) Your kids are perfectly normal, or you have no kids and are happy about it.
B) One of your children is a real concern.
C) Your difficult child is getting to be a real big problem, and you and your partner argue over him and how to help him. Or, you are going through infertility treatments and would do anything to get pregnant.
D) You are so upset about your kids that you lie in bed at night questioning your ability to parent.
9. Do you have friends?
A) Not really. To be honest, you have no one to confide in and it's terribly lonely.
B) You have one or two real friends, but they never call you. You spend most of your time by yourself.
C) Your close friends are emotionally damaging.
D) You have less in common with your old friends these days, but when difficulties arise, you know you can count on them.
E) You have a gang of close buddies that you see and talk to often and who are totally there for you whenever times are rough.
At Work
10. How do you like your job?
A) You hate it.
B) You wish you could quit, but you're afraid you couldn't get another job.
C) You are self-employed and struggling to bring in enough work. Or, you're unemployed and anxious about finding a job.
D) It's not what you dreamed it would be, but you're relatively fulfilled.
E) You love your job—whether you're getting paid or not.
11. How secure do you feel at work?
A) Very. The company is doing well; the boss seems happy with you.
B) Your job is pretty secure.
C) You've always felt safe, but lately you've become a little nervous.
D) You fear that any day you could get fired.
12. What are your coworkers like?
A) Awful.
B) You don't like them at all, and you avoid them whenever possible.
C) You wouldn't choose them as friends, but they're OK to hang out with at work.
D) You're like Mary, Lou and Murray on The Mary Tyler Moore Show.
Your Body
13. What do you say to yourself when you look in the mirror?
A) "I love what I see."
B) "Some things look great, and some things, well, not so great, but that's who I am."
C) "Oh my God. When did that happen?"
D) "How could anyone ever be attracted to me?"
E) You never look in the mirror because it upsets you so much.
14. What do you order when you go to dinner with your girlfriends?
A) A salad, no dressing—but you eat only half.
B) A light entrée, no matter what your friends order.
C) First, you check out what everyone else is getting. If they're choosing light foods, you do, too. If they're pigging out, so do you.
D) Whatever you feel like eating.
15. Why do you exercise?
A) It makes you feel good.
B) You feel fat and unhealthy if you don't exercise frequently.
C) You feel bad about yourself every time you skip a workout.
D) You hate yourself when you don't.
E) You never exercise.
16. How much time do you take to do something relaxing and enjoyable? (reading a novel, listening to music)?
A) At least a half hour, most days.
B) A half-hour a day when you're not busy with other things.
C) Fifteen or 20 minutes a day, when you feel guilty about it.
D) Hardly ever.
E) Never.
17. You deal with major stress by...
A) Going through your repertoire of self-nurturing activities: calling a friend, going for a walk, getting a massage...
B) Cutting yourself some slack.
C) Going drinking with your friends to blow off some serious steam.
D) Loading up at the nearest convenient store. Cookies. Candy. Ice cream.
Click here to tally your score and learn how to manage your stress more effectively.
From the October 2002 issue of O, The Oprah Magazine. Subscribe now!

Your Best Self