Dr. Northrup wants you to have the best sex of your life—all you have to do is get in the right frame of mind. "The brain is the biggest sex organ in the body," she says. "You need to learn how to turn yourself on." Dr. Northrup recommends romance novels, weekend getaways with your lover and letting go of inhibitions by giving up perfection.
Once the mind is ready, there is another sex organ that needs attention. "Less than 25 percent of women reach orgasm only through intercourse, and the reason is that the clitoris needs more attention than it gets during intercourse. The clitoris has 8,000 nerve endings, whose sole purpose is pleasure."
Dr. Northrup's five steps to better sex:
In addition to Dr. Northrup's tips, make sure there isn't a deeper issue contributing to your low sex drive. "Perimenopause and menopause, there's nothing about it that decreases frequency of orgasm or libido in a lot of women. However, a lot of women experience decreased libido because they've put a lot of problems in the relationship under the rug and they also need some time alone to rediscover themselves."