Chatting with the person who cares about you most in life is supposed to be one of the all-time-best stress reducers. So why do studies find that when female friends discuss problems together, their stress hormones soar? The answer: co-ruminating—the technical term for talking excessively about problems
. You’re dwelling on and overanalyzing every slight, every nasty look, every perceived injustice—essentially experiencing them over and over again. And in the rehash, you and your friend are getting fried. Spare the both of you by talking about a situation only once
, with a focus on solutions.