On the fifth day, Dr. Sher kept us on standby as he waited for our embryos to develop to the next stage as blastocysts, or "blasts." At one point, we were scheduled for a morning appointment, then it was pushed to mid-afternoon and then—on the last night of Hanukkah at 5:30 p.m.—it was showtime.
I prayed and listened to my blessing music and did my best to stay calm. A lot of this is about energy and peace. Being calm and slowing down isn't my normal state. I had to do a lot to get myself there. I knew that this is and was our time and wanted to make sure that I surrendered and looked fabulous.
I wore my new orange scarf with h's on it—a Hanukkah present from my fabulous best friend/soul mate husband—and an animal print shirt. I wanted to be my best for transfer. I even wore lipstick. I don't usually wear makeup, but wanted to connect closer to my feminine, mommy energy. Besides, we were recording on Flip video to share the procedure with those that have never seen it and are waiting and wondering what it's like. I had to look and be my best. The real hope and dream is to show this to our baby someday so that he can see how he was conceived.
Dr. Poon, our trusted acupuncturist and new friend in Vegas, was on hand and missed her flight to L.A. to be there for us. She was eager to support me. She went through this herself, understood what it takes to work and wanted to pay it forward to her newfound friend for life. Women who have gone through IVF have a code of connection that lasts a lifetime. I am so grateful for the support you've given me in comments on my previous stories on Oprah.com.
Darren, Dr. Sher and Linda, his most fabulous nurse and my grounding force, were all there. Darren held my hand as we inserted the embryos. Tears were flowing down my cheeks. I was in awe that this is even an option. There were two embryos that were viable. Dr. Sher and his embryologist thought the best place for them to continue to grow would be inside me. I thanked the embryologist for being a fabulous babysitter for the past five days and gave him a huge hug. I was so filled with gratitude, hope and possibility.
It was a beautiful moment. In the next 10 days or so, we would all be celebrating the beginning of a journey—or closing a chapter.
Check back soon to read the next chapter in Heidi's journey.
Have you had experience with fertility issues in your life? Share your comments below.
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