The fear of disappointing people is one of the primary reasons Star initially refused to talk publicly about her surgery, she says. "People who loved me and had my best interests at heart would say: 'Star, it's not a bad thing. You can admit it.' And I couldn't. I just put my head in the sand. I was defiant," she says. "I said, 'I'm not talking about this, and if you bring it up again I will fire everybody.' That's how in pain I was."
As Star continued to push away the people who were closest to her, she says the audience could sense that they were being pushed away as well. "I was ashamed," she says. "I was ashamed that I couldn't control my weight, that I was an addict for all practical purposes, that I had never stuck to a real diet or exercise program and that when confronted by my doctor, he said, 'If you don't make changes, you will die.'"