When I began this program, my mentor, Dana, told me that the changes in my body would be small compared to the changes I would have as a person. I sort of rolled my eyes. In my head I thought, "I'll be a skinny person whose new view on life is not digging to the back of the rack at the store and eventually be able to stop shopping at stores that cater to people over size 14." I know that Dana had much bigger things projected for me, but I really didn't believe.
It's funny because in the last two months I find myself saying and thinking things that are brand new to me. Yet somehow they have "snuck" into my life almost like they were always there. I wonder if all these changes really have been there, but have been suffocated by all the yucky food and coach potato behavior. Looking back, I just can't even believe some of the things I would eat, how much I would eat, or how I thought that I was busy. Now I look at food and know that every time I put healthy food in my mouth it's a sign that I'm respecting my body. And even with my hectic schedule, I've still found time to get to the gym and even miss it when I have my days off.
When I was in college I remember someone saw me and said, "I saw you running on campus." And I quickly replied, "Oh, I was probably running to catch the bus." Looking back, that statement means so much—the only time I was running was to catch a vehicle that would carry me somewhere. Now I'm driving to a park to take a class to learn how to run. Isn't it funny how things have changed?
As much as I was quite skeptical that I would truly be changing, I'm finally beginning to believe it. I make decisions that shape the way I want my future to be and am much more conscious about those decisions. I'm doing things today that I never would have considered possible, and finding that a little bit of belief in myself goes a very long way. I feel like sometimes that this journey is a lot about letting go and introducing myself to a whole new me. I know it took me a while to believe it, but I'm positive that having faith and believing that these changes are real and permanent is having a bigger impact than I could have ever imagined.
Believing in myself!