I can happily share that, after Viagra and acupuncture, my lining is at 9 millimeters. I had called upon some of my most spiritual guides in Canada and New York to dial into the number 9. I knew it needed to be at least at 8, but I wasn't focusing on "at least." I wanted to increase my odds. This wasn't the same as believing I could control it; I was surrendering and letting and allowing others to help—all life lessons that I needed and need to be aware of in my growth.
Wednesday: A Day Off
No sonogram. No appointments. Just time to relax and catch up on work.
Thursday: The Follicles Are Growing
Based on their size, we have at least 12 good follicles. There are more, but for now we are staying focused on those that seem large enough to produce mature eggs. My lining is now at 9.3 millimeters, which is very good. Dr. Sher decides to trigger my ovaries to release an egg by giving me a shot of Human Chorionic Gonadotropin. He wants to prepare me for the retrieval of the egg on Friday night instead of tonight so that my lining and follicles can get bigger. He says he is pleased with the follicles so far, and wants the best outcomes. He is no longer a doctor: he is my friend, he is family, and just being here in Vegas with him makes me know I am in the best care.
Dr. Sher is a pioneer in this science and has the best bedside manner. He treats each patient as though they are special. I was able to watch and see what was happening in the waiting room. He passionately believes in what he does and he is committed to helping empower women to achieve their dreams. Maybe even more so, he thrives on helping women overcome the feeling of powerlessness they so often easily get when faced with the fear of not being able to have a baby.
I saw a woman in the waiting room whose husband is in a wheelchair. Another woman had uterine cancer and she wanted to freeze her embryos before her uterus had to be removed. Despite her cancer, she now has a chance to mother her own baby. Another woman was donating her eggs to a family for them to get their chance. For so many people, including myself, Dr. Sher provides hope.
We let Darren know that he is to come to Las Vegas by Saturday. The trigger will be done on Friday night—coincidentally, the first night of Hanukkah—and we need Darren on Sunday when the retrieved eggs will be mixed with his sperm. I'm a romantic, so I inform Darren that he needs to create a sperm sample tonight—doctor's orders. We both giggle a lot during this phone call—which makes it all feel a lot lighter.
I am relieved that Darren didn't need to come sooner. We had a big client party in New York on Thursday night for our client GAIAM, at Donna Karan's Urban Zen studio, with Trudie Styler and Sting. Trudie has a new series of lifestyle DVDs, and we were throwing the launch party and doing all the media for the products. Knowing that Darren would be there gave me comfort and assurance that he now can take care of my first child—my business.
This was the first time in my career that I had no choice but to give up this important business thing for my own personal thing—I am anxious but have faith and confidence in my team and Darren to make us shine. And they do—which puts me at peace, knowing that the business can work without me since I will need it to when I have a baby.
This is what it will be like when I am a mom—I will need to say no to things with work, I will need to balance my own needs and those of my husband and life to take care of this angel of god. This was that lesson, and one that I treasured: I can count on others—another great life lesson.