A Brain Scientist's Insight

Listening to Jill's story reminds Lena, an audience member, about a painful experience she had with the nurses who cared for her. "I had to go through chemotherapy, and none of my family members or friends could support me at that time," she says. "They were very busy, and I'd have to go to the hospital alone, and when I'd walk in the room, the nurses wouldn't smile at me or acknowledge me. It's very painful to not have a warm touch when you are emotionally going through such a painful experience."

Dr. Oz says when doctors and nurses act cold, it's often a defense mechanism. "When someone is taking care of you and lets themself get close to you by taking their barrier down—and then you don't do well—it hurts and we go home and cry," he says. "So you build a defense up to protect yourself, which I don't think the right way to live life, but that's a very understandable response."

However, Dr. Oz says it's no excuse for how Lena was treated. "It's not a matter of having a defense or not," he says. "The right defense is to engage life."