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When it was Josh's turn to do the "If you knew me..." exercise, his parents, Ann and Andy, went first. "If you really knew me, you'd know that my biggest fear is that my children will follow my path of my drug addiction," she says. "One of the things I really want the most is for all my children just to be happy."

"If you really knew me, you'd know that I'm sort of rough on my kids," Andy says. "I'm sort of a perfectionist. I want stuff done a certain way, and I expect it to be done a certain way. That's why I'm hard on them. I'm sure they hate me most of the time."

Then it's Josh's turn. "If you really knew me, you'd know as a kid I've gotten my fair share of beatings from both my parents. My dad does have these high standards, and if we can't reach them, he's disappointed with us and he gets angry," he says. "I try to do better, but it just doesn't seem like it's working. And when I'm sad, I'll eat, and I think I've been sad most of my life because I've been big most of my life."

Josh says after this emotional moment for his family, life at home has changed somewhat. "Things got a little better. There hasn't been a whole lot of yelling," he says. "But they're still the same way. Everything's still the same."

As Josh was getting heavier and heavier, Andy says he never spoke with him about what was going on. "I didn't know what to do," he says. "I just didn't know what to do."

But Andy says seeing Josh discuss his feelings about his weight and his parents was eye-opening. "We're trying to get the help and so on," he says.
FROM: Obese Families in Crisis: The Intervention
Published on January 26, 2009
As a reminder, always consult your doctor for medical advice and treatment before starting any program.


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