9. Oprah viewers get first crack at the swine flu vaccine.
8. If you don't watch, every episode will be about what a jerk you are.
7. Oprah shows you her secret million-dollar system for beating blackjack.
6. The Vatican might name her Pope-rah.
5. Over the summer, she acquired Gelman in a trade with Regis.
4. The shocking must-see episode about the fall's hottest lip gloss colors.
3. Twenty years from now when your kids ask, "Were you there for Oprah in the fall of 2009?" What do you want to say?
2. Introduction of new guest who's a combination of Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz...Dr. Phoz.
1. Oprah and I finally say "I do."