Gia,

I agree with you 100%! I love it when people tell you it's all in your head! Of course it is! Dealing with bipolar, depression and ADHD in my family, and the resulting alcoholism, gambling, drug addictions, you name it, I have had many discussions with the seniors living around me, most of them with one of the above maladies. First of all, in the 30s, there was a Depression that was far more physical in nature, where your very survival was at stake. Have no doubts that there was widespread depression, mentally...look at the high suicide levels, and older relatives who hoard every piece of junk they can get their hands on to this day! It was also hugely looked down upon to seek treatment for your psychological problems, mainly because you had to "talk about family business...keep your mouth shut!" Also, in the 50s and 60s, though they had their own crosses to bear, so to speak, our mothers had a community of women around them, and a support network of mothers who stayed home, many who didn't drive and spent many hours commiserating together, a therapy of sorts. I have read that there is so much isolation today that most Moms, and people in general, have little to no interaction outside of their job, so if they stay home, especially with young children, they are prime targets for depression. Throw in no extended family, as many of us experience, a husband who works extended hours and some hyperactive kids and we wonder why we feel we are losing it???

I believe that we have to strive for continued transparency in all matters...in business, in government, in our families, with our finances, in our hearts. Things going on behind the scenes, widespread corruption, we need to open up and let the truth out. I consider myself a recovering Catholic and look where all that secrecy and conspiracy has gotten the church. Holding things in, in my opinion, is one of the primary causes of obesity, cancer and depressions of all sorts. Many times, just talking to a qualified therapist can be a lifeline to those who need it, but most can not afford it or, like you said, wouldn't consider it acceptable for them or those they love.

Maybe some of this will help you discuss the situation with your loved ones. Many seniors are looking for justification to deal with their own depression; most of them do experience it but have never had that permission to seek treatment.

Peace to you and yours.

Dear Debrag;

thank you for your well wishes of peace and feedback;, it really helps to know that Im not the only one experiencing this madness.

(Talk about family business............. keep your mouth shut!)

I wanted to address your above line as it really resonated with my experience.

How are we as daughters expected to trust our gut feeling and inner voice-siren when these kinds of things have violated our childhood experience.

I remember vividly when I was a child, many times that I cleaned vomit or blood up off the kitchen floor. When I asked my mother why Uncle....... or Aunt.......drank so much because it only made them fall off the kitchen stool and get sick or injured., I couldnt understand this foolish behavior. My mother would say that it never happened, you are imagining things, you are nuts. The visceral memory will never leave me as I was always the one appointed to cleaning up the mess. It took until I was 35 to totally trust my own eyes and instincts because of this insanity. I am sure I would be in a psychiatric hospital if God had not of blessed my life with an angel. One of my close friends became a mental health practitioner, who recognized triggers and flags with me. thank God for her, she saved me. Unfortunately for me she got her dream job working at a hospital for the criminally insane, far away from where I live. I'm happy for her though she is a very special person and the one who affectionately re-named me as TRAIN WRECK LOL

If you have the time please read my last two entries on my blog and share your thoughts on them. Forgive grammar and lack of exclamation marks, I am still having problems with my keyboard.

love and light to all

Gia777

Hello-I just read what you wrote and i agree with you however i am a mother of 3 grown children and a grandmother to a 7yr.old grandughter and a grandmother to a 7yr.old special needs grandson who had been in my care since birth as my two daughters had babys 3months apart while still living at home.however my grandughter suffers from P.T.S.D.as her both father and my daughter are drug addicts and it wasn't till 4yrs.ago that i found out about my daughter being addicted to heroin.as i took full custody of my grandughter and i hear from my husband and other's she should not be on the one medication shes on and certainly should not be seeing a therapist or doctor for her medication.and as i had my grandson in my custody for 5yrs.because my other daughter suffers from Bi-POLAR and didn't take her meds so there for she could not care for her son that suffers from-A.D.H.D.and autism and mood disorder.and has to take a few medications,well i,m the worst grandmother for getting my grandchildren the professional help i believed they needed and still do need but i get in argueing matches with there parent's,my husband and family some because they don't believe there doctors know what they are doing as you said they say years ago they didn't have such things and i say years ago people died and they had no cures for many illnesses also.I'm 50 What do you do?Just believe and hope in your heart your doing the right thing as if i didn't get professional help when i did at 23yr.old i might not of been so lucky to be here as my brother took his life and other family members.so i agree with you:x

Dear ectPenny;

I think you are amazing!

love and light

Gia777

Dear Friend-That was nice of you and i certainly appreciate you kind comment but why do you think that?Love Penny:x

Dear Penny re: your post,

Posted on Jan 10, 2009 10:12:06 PM

Dear Friend-That was nice of you and i certainly appreciate you kind comment but why do you think that?Love Penny:x

I think that you are amazing because despite the fact that you have more than a full plate,You seem to have a

heart which must be huge as you have enough Love to do much of your children's work i.e. taking in and raising,

coaching and Loving your Grandchildren.

Also your level of understanding ; is far above most Grandmothers and mothers who often are, (not all, but most I know)

mostly into guilt trips and judgement. Instead of criticizing or judging it appears that you take action, and accept the What Is!

Few have the strength to do that

so there thats why, I think that you're amazing!:x

Love and light

Gia

ps Your posts always have light & hope therein.

namaste Penny ;

in response to your question I'm 50 What do you do?

I'm a Jill of all trades and mistress of none, I am a single Mum who is bi-polar triumphant!(via diet, nutrition and hypervigilant prayer.)

I voluntarily, co-facilitate a psycho-therapy group for adult woman, with PTSD,ADHD, ADD SCIZO-AFFECTIVE DISORDER AND SO ON.

My psychiatric friend has labeled me as a magnet for the walking wounded, she says that I am disarming. lol

I'm an animal rescuer and activist for or abused four leggers, mostly canine.

I do pro-bono landscaping and yard work for seniors and those more incapacitated than I am. I'm hemi- plegic, however using one arm for 32 years makes a girl awfully strong. Not much I cant do. except run, backflip, or gymnastics.

I Love to garden, propagate roses, walk the forest with the dogs.

thanku for lighting a candle in my journey.

love and light

gia777

Wow, what a story you have. I'm sending you good wishing from California, you have your hands full. I always say that God only gives us what we can handle, and you have a lot to handle. Raising 2 grandchildren is not an easy task, it can zapp you from all your energy. My prayer for you is that you take care of yourself, get your rest, eat well and have some fun in life. Blessing to you Grandma, hang in there you are doing what is best for your grandchildren.

So glad you asked! I need to talk about this today.

I have bipolar disorder. There have been times when I have gone off of medication and my thinking/my reality, spirals quickly to dillusional and suicidal thoughts. It's very scary. Once you get well again, you can sometimes look back with clarity and remember what you were thinking. And it is always crazy and WAY off base. Needless to say, I have to take the medication to stay alive.

My parents say things like 'we never had the luxury of mental illness.' Meanwhile my mother is so nuts she often physically beats on my 72 yr old father. My father has enabled her and her mental illness, my whole life. By refusing to admit she has a problem, she can keep the focus on others. I finally have cut off contact with her completely because she is so abusive and I can't afford her, in my life anymore.

Meanwhile my daughter is coming up and here we go again...She is showing signs of depression. Growing up around my mom and myself...could I have expected any different? There has to be a genetic/dna link. Besides what I believe is an environmental factor.

Mental illness is real, in my book. Thanks for reminding me and helping me say it out loud.

I just wanted you to know Gia, you started a place a of healing for me today. After posting here, somehow I found this page next.

http://www.oprah.com/article/spirit/emotionalhealth/health_yourbody_mania

A refresher course on bipolar disoder and depression. I hate having it, but so glad there is information like this, here at Oprah.com. helps me...

I have been skipping a lot of my doses of 'anti-psychotic' medicine at night, because of the side effects. I am so tired on it, I sleep too much.

I'm so glad I read that info! I can't skip my meds. I was putting myself on the edge of a bipolar relapse. I have even noticed mild tremors, like the article mentions. Wow.

It's a good thing I am putting myself on the list this week.

...Hello again God.

Namaste' all;
Dear g2gpeace4a

re: your sentence
"Meanwhile my daughter is coming up and here we go again...She is showing signs of depression."
But of course, you are right darling ." Children learn what they live."
its A GOOD THING WE HAVE GREAT KNOWLEDGE AND INSIGHT FROM OUR OWN

EXPERIENCE TO HELP AND JUST LOVE THEM! OOPS CAPS sorry........
Dogs were barking and I only have one functional arm and I was looking out window to see what all the

kerfuffle was about.Too tired to editd.oing my best 4 today.
Isn't Oprah wonderful to give us this platform to help and support one another. It is huge to

me.,Given the fact that I was ostracized by my family at age 17 for becoming a cripple, after a stroke.

Dear g2gpeace4a re your sentence
I have been skipping a lot of my doses of 'anti-psychotic' medicine at night, because of the side effects. I am

so tired on it, I sleep too much................
I'm not a physician and wouldnt advise anyone to go off meds without a Dr's. approva.lI made that mistake

only once.
Thanks for posting that link, time for me to smarten up here, and re educate myself.
Sixteen years ago on the day that I was told that I was pregnant, I was on anti- cancer,, anti- depression,
painkillers, diuretics,and anti-spasmodic meds. Sleeping pills, anti nausea tabs and thought I was going to die

of the cancer so I was drinking a half bottle of Gran Marnier on top of it all.

Then it all changed, I was so happy that I was going to have a baby , A MIRACLE, HAPPENING TO ME!

and so determined to see that baby flourish that I naively flushed all meds and Booze down the toilet. NOT A

GOOD IDEA, CONTAMINATES GROUND WATERS.
I got into the bath but when coming out, I GOT DIZZY. Hit my head on something, I don't know what?
I PASSED OUT, thereafter I laid on that floor for several days, too dizzy , disoriented and weak to get up.
I was alone, and couldnt crawl to phone, my dog was tied up outside.So I stayed on that cold floor where I

shook, shivered, experienced muscle spasms in bodily places I didnt even know that I had. ( really weird for a

student of kiniesiology) Fortunately I was able to reach the cold water tap and keep myself well

hydratedT.hose days were a nightmare and with the Grace of God I prayed my way thru them valiantly, with

words of Love, surrender, compassion and determination. Finally my landlord came for rent and was able to

rescue me.

I had very egotistically thought prior to that experience that if I could survive cancer, a massive stroke, being

run over by a semi, shot in the mouth, and more. All without any support system. I certainly was tough

enough to quit coffee, cigs, meds, chemo, and alcohol for the sake of my miracle baby.
I will never do that again.! Thanks for the link you may have saved some souls, and god bless!
My baby is beautiful, tall, willowy, a very talented artist but she suffers bi-polar affective disorder and I'm

terrified she is going to commit suicide. Sooner or later That is why food doesnt stay in my stomach and I

don't sleep much., lately. I dont have the answers and feel useless for the first time in my life.
God gave me one beautiful miracle and I have fought tooth and nail for her. I wont lose her!
I hope I helped someone in some way and thanks everyone for reading me. Please pray for my daughter.
She has schizoid-affective disorder on top of bi-polar and refuses to take meds.
I gotta get back that "Oprahtic Spirit!", that I had during her webcast with Mr. Tolle.
Love and light to everyone
Gia 777

What grandma and mom failed to mention to you is that they did have these mental illnessess way back in their day. These poor souls who suffered openly were put in insane asylums, given shock treatements, over medicated and were considered a burden. those will mild mental disorders or who were still to functional to be put into asylums were labeled "crazy" or "eccentric" etc etc.

Yes our mother's generation and our mother's mother's generation had to be a bit tougher, after all our grandmothers went through the depression (as we are now it seems ) They were told to "pull themselves up by their bootstraps and go on about their lives" no matter what they were feeling. To discuss your mental statis was just beggign for trouble, so alot of them hid it. They were also less happy, and seemed to think that it was their cross to bare, sorta speak.

I think teaching our kids today about mental illness needs to be done with compassion and understanding, adn telling them when their grand parents and great-grandparents say it's hogwash, that times were different back then adn we know better now.

So well said, I was going to post but you said what I wanted to.

My daughters have had some discussion about this matter to me and I found myself telliing them to change their habits a bit. To exercise, take vitamins before going for the drugs. I still think this is a better way but sometimes we need help and now days it is not such a "Bad" thing. I was one of those thinking I didn't have time to get depressed even though I probably was. I just thought this is how life is deal with it. I would do my crying in my own space and come out all cheery for the world to see. I was told by a doctor, after my father passed away and my abusive husband was all I had, that I needed to take antidepressants to feel better. Of course I told him no, because I was not going to fall for that one. He told me I had to eliminate my stress then..... I said what would you have me do "Get rid of some of my children?" What I did in 1986 , I got a paper route. Actually added more stress but somehow it made me feel better. I am now 53 and still struggling. I still try everything I can to destress. my daughter is now taking St.Johns Wort to try and feel better. She says it is helping. I told her try that and if it doesn't work get better professional help. Taking a pill to ward of these feelings is not a "Bad" thing. I wish I would have had the sense when I was younger, but I think my husband would have used it agaist me. That too is a fear of women.

You are SO NOT USELESS! You completely brightened my day with your reply.

I will pray for your daughter. There have been some amazingly talented folks with bipolar. I am just now learning that. I just can't believe how much you have gone through! Don't ever doubt your worth. I can see clearly that you are a survivor and that's A LOT!

PS I was in the the psych ward when I found out I was pregnant with my child. God has a funny sense of humor, huh?

Like you said...we couldn't make it through without the experience. Thank Goodness for the experience!:x