Money is a life tool, a powerful one. No parent would allow their child to use a power tool for example, without going over in great detail the danger of misusing that tool and providing the proper safety equipment. I work with people and their money for a living. I say we tell our children the truth. "Kids, there are limits to the resources our incomes provide, here is what we earn and here is we pay just to maintain this family" I say give the children and the parents a cash allowance for discretionary spending. Let's lead our children by example if they see us think carefully about money and how we use it they are far more likely to do the same. In my opinion it is quite cruel to be kind when it comes to money and kids. We set our kids up to financial failure in their adult lives when we live with them in a lie that is a life beyond our means.

That's my ten cents.

I had posted this originally on another board, but I think it fits here too. Not sure why it has become so hard for people to say no to their kids.

Although I agree that kids need to learn about money, and how fast it disappears, but I do not agree that kids should be privy to the household financial information. I never knew what my parents earned or how much their house was worth, or what they paid for the car, mortgage etc. My parents made sure that as we grew up we learned the importance of money in different ways depending on our ages. When we were too young for a job we earned an allowance, and not by making our beds or doing dishes (as those were our household duties, not optional) but by helping out my parents and doing extra things around the house to make life easier for everyone. We had to account for our allowance and what we bought with it, not that we couldn't decide, but there was no more money until the next allowance day.

Once we were 14 we were expected to get a job, and half of our pay (non-negotiable) went to a savings account to be saved for college or university. The other half could be spent as we chose, but when it was gone that was it no money coming in from the parent bank!! My brother and I both had to buy our own vehicle if we wanted one, and had to pay our own gas, and up keep. My parents wanted us to understand that money is fleeting, what seems like a lot is quickly gone when you have essentials to pay for. You become less shy about asking for some gas money from your friends when you know that the car won't go anywhere without gas!!!

Until I had my daughter I always had a job sometimes more than one, I have never collected Unemployment or welfare, it was not always easy but it was essential. Even working retail and minimum wage jobs I was able to pay for tuition and books for college for both years of my schooling. I will be expecting the same from my kids when they are old enough to work. If I could put away half of my pay (at way less than minimum wage is now) and pay for schooling, they can do the same! My parents always helped us out when they could, but the lessons we learned about money were good ones, and could not be learned if they had given us whatever we wanted.

Kids today have very little chance because they don't know the value of a dollar, even scarier is the fact that most of them have no responsiblity for their lives or finances until they are on their own making mistakes. Parents need to step up and make their kids knowledgable about finances and how easy it is to get into trouble. Even the most knowledgeable about money make the biggest mistakes!! I know several accountants who have declared bankruptcy, and I ask myself why. Knowledge is power, but sometimes I think people get power hungry and end up in trouble!!!

This is for Jean. Don't tell your son no. Be creative. Have him work for it. Start a fund raiser, have a yard sale. There is more than one way to skin a cat. Rich Dad Poor Dad concept. The Rich Dad would say how can I get this money which opens up your mind to the possibilities and the Poor Dad would say that I can't. The experiences that I have provided for my kids have made them such optimal human beings. He will not forget this if you don't let thim go.

The one mother may have a hard time to get the money together to sent her child to another country with his class, but I didn't agree with telling him no he can't go. It's not the childs fault that his parents have a CC debt of 20 grand or so. This is an opportunity of a life time and as a mother my self I would try to get that money together somehow. Sell something that you think you no longer need. Have him get a paper route or see if he can do something for the neighbor or for friends and family. Tell your friends and family about the trip and maybe they can donate some money towards it. Telling him no is wrong to me. It's not like he's going on a ski trip that if you couldn't afford it then you could just go next year. A child doesn't have many chances to go to another country like that. Don't say no ! Do what you can. Be creative.

I have 2 kids whom live with me and the simple truth is that if I can't pay my bills then they do without. It has nothing to do with wether you want to give them better than what you had. It has to do with survivng...PERIOD! I love my children as all parents do or should. if I can't put a roof over their heads nothing else really matters.

My children are 29 and 27 now, married and are pretty good savers. They always seemed to understand what they could spend and what they couldn't. We used to go to stores with the understanding that we aren't going to buy anything...we're just going to look. I did this on purpose to show them that they could go into a store and ...not buy anything! We still had fun looking and laughing at things that we felt were way overpriced. It didn't prevent them from wanting things, and it wasn't always easy but they got the message that they needed to shop critically and couldn't have everything they wanted.

I'd like to comment on todays show about finances and your kids. Let me start by saying that I started showing my kids the bills and the income sources along time ago. I was divorced from their dad and had to support them on my own. Though I wanted to give them everything I didn't have when I was a kid, I just didn't have enough money. Even their dad's child support didn't cover much. So this is what I did...with their dads support amount ; I made $1 tickets, one for every dollar he gave us..($150 a month) so each child got 75 tickets. I told them that it would cost $0.50 for breakfast, $1 for lunch, $2 for dinner and another $0.50 for a snack before bed. then it would be $1 each way to drive them to sports, school or friends houses. they had a chore list that they could earn some $$ to buy things they wanted. well, my son did this for a few days and got upset because he saw it wasn't working..my daughter held out longer..about a week, then they came to me and said they were sorry, that they had no idea how much things were and how little $$ their dad provided. by the way he didn't give any extra either.. So, with this info in hand my kids understood about the mortgage, car and utility payments. they began to turn off lights and wear a sweatshirt to keep heating costs down. They also knew that if I had the money they got a little extra. They understood that they had to take a lunch and eat dinner as a family at home every night. Now, my kids are almost 22 and alsmost 25 and they are both employed..one is a nurse the other is in the Coast guard, they support themselves and understand the priorities of paying bills on time to maintain their credit. They still want things but realize they have to save to get it. Sure, I went through some rough times and my kids didn't have everything their friends had, and they complained, but I always explained to them that we just couldn't afford it. and they understood. I am so happy that my children are productive citizens and I believe I must have done something right along the way. My kids also know that if they get into $$ troubles I will help them, but they also know it won't come withoout a hitch.

Part of your show today was about parents worrying about telling their kids no, afraid their kids will hate them...guess what..my parents told me no all the time, and made me angry alot, but I do not love them any less I probably love them more for teaching me that material things don't make the person. I just wanted to tell you my story. Thanks for listening. I'm originally form Syracuse, NY but now live in NC. Cathy Morgan

I know that this is meant for parents to reply to but I am but another teen who asks for money constantly. But unlike many of the other teens, I feel guilty afterwards and tell my parents I will try to pay back, but in return is normally money they've given me. So I try to go without asking my parents for money as much as I would want to and I thank them with my life for what they do for me.

I think parents should just say straight to their kid if they can't keep giving them the money they ask for. The kids shouldn't fight back, thats not right but you need to tell them straight. If they have a problem with it, then they should try to do what their parents do for them everyday and see how hard they work.

As a single mom, the best money lesson i thought my daugther who is almost 24 years old was when ishowed her how much money is coming in and how much money is going out at an early age (7 years old) I also explained to her other hidden expenses like, money for house maintenance. I don't believe that a child should get paid because a child is helping around the house. My daugther never had allowance. She did work around the house because she wanted to. She learned to earn money from babysitting when she was 12. Children under 12 do not need too much. However, it is your duty as a parent to provide for them, including food, shelter, books and other things that will help them survive and learn to become a good person.

Mabeth

When my son was born, I wanted him to have everything I didn't as a child so I gave in to all his wants. But I soon realized he didn't appreciate things the way I did growing up. Now he only gets gifts on his birthday and Christmas. I buy him school clothes at the beginning of the school year and only when he really needs something throughout the year. He does not get an allowance because I feel like what he does around the house should be done for the simple fact it needs to be done, and not just because he's getting paid. But he does get money for his report card every 9 weeks. I give him $5.00 for A's and $2.50 for B's. This is the only spending money he gets throughout the year and he spends it on what he chooses. He plays basketball and plays the saxophone in band, and those activities can get very expensive, so I don't feel that he is being deprived in any way. I also let him go to the school dances and things like that and do give him money for those types of activities. I don't discuss the actual financial situation in our home because his father and I are divorced. My son tends to tell everything he knows, so I don't feel like my personal finances are something his father needs to know. My son doesn't ask for things all of the time because he knows I am not buying him something every time we go to the store. He knows if he wants something he has to save his report card money, or his birthday money. Or that may be something he will ask for at Christmas or for his birthday.

About 5 years ago my husband's work was off-shored. We went from a $200,000 income that allowed us to travel to Mexico, Costa Rica, a raft trip down the Colorado River, to an income of $18,000 on which we had to make ends meet while my husband went back to college at the same time my daughter went. She couldn't go to the college that she had dreamed of going. The spending came to a sudden halt and we lived on our low income and help from my father.

It was all we could do to hold onto the house. Currently we earn 30 cents on every dollar that we use to earn but our family would not change the experience that we had and are still going through. No longer do we buy our children computers, phones, mt. bikes. Instead they have to save for those items if they get them at all.. We no longer travel to far away places but go camping and hiking together in the mountains.

The greatest reward I can have as a parent is to hear my college age children plan their careers not on the income that they will earn but how their careers will benefit and help those who have less. My daughter who fought with me about what she couldn't have and what others had now has become a shopper that never buys an item unless it is on sale and thinks about the need before she puts the cash down. She made it through college and now as an OT looks forward working with the elderly and how she can be of service. Neither one of them talk about the "money" but of the service that they can give. It is not easy but we have been blessed with less.

What is this guy saying?!? He wants to leave it up to the schools to do the parenting? Give me a break!!!

How about parents stop overindulging kids and buying into pop culture. Yes, it's difficult to say "no", but who is the parent?

One of the guests on today's show suggested that we need to teach more about money in school... reading, writing, 'rithmatic, and REALITY. In fact, this subject is already being offered in schools. It is called Family and Consumer Science (otherwise known as the old fashioned Home Economics). Unfortunately, many schools think this is no longer an important part of today's curriculum and are eliminating the programs. All the emphasis is on getting kids accepted at the best colleges but they are lacking the skills that allow them to STAY in college without ending up in debt for the rest of their lives. It is time that schools smarten up and teach the LIFE skills necessary to produce successful citizens!

I wanted to post a comment after watching Suze Orman tell a mother who has 20K in credit card debt that her child can't go on a Cost Rica trip that everyone has known about for a while. I think that yes - the parents absolutely cannot take out a loan or pay for this trip. But in teaching kids about money, the answer shouldn't be a flat no. It can be a compromise. My 13 year old nephew went to Costa Rica last summer under the condition that if he "earned" the money to go, he could go. He did odd jobs for everyone, painting, mowing lawns, jobs around the house etc. anything where he could earn money and save for the trip. He did earn the money and went on the trip. It was a great life experience for him. So, I guess my point is that kids can learn about the value of money by earning it themselves as well, rather than relying on parents to pay for everything.

Jean,

Please don't keep your child from taking a trip to another country that will help him to gain a strong sense of world and become a better adult. FUNDRAISERS!!!! We helped our daughter take a trip to Australia and New Zealand by holding fundraisers. Let your son become a paper boy, rake leaves... it is amazing how quickly you can raise the money. My daughter wrote letters from Santa and made $500.00. WE held a night out (ok it was a beef & beer) but you can call it whatever you want - for $25.00 a person a night out is great. We had basket raffles, 50/50 chances - and people were thrilled to give to a happy cause . We made over $2000.00. You son may never get a chance to vist Costa Rica again... This could be a once in a life time trip! Have him hold his own garage sale... If he wants to go he may be willing to sell one of his games or basketballs or... what ever 10 year old boys have too much of. DON'T TAKE A LOAN BUT DON'T TAKE THIS OPPORTUNITY AWAY FROM YOUR SON!

Kelly