take a deep breath and take your time. every step you take is a step in the right direction. listen to the webcasts if you are able and just close your eyes and listen without distraction. take each day as a new day and know that in time it will all sink in. if you presure yourself it will be more difficult. breath, listen, practice each day. joy happens when you are relaxed and let go of what is troubling you. you have a well of great wisdom to dip into anytime you want....nothing will go away from you ever. you will return to your source in time. enjoy the process and learn to trust yourself......carol

Thank you so much Carol. It is so great how your spirit although probably hundreds of miles away can connect and help to calm mine. I will come back to your response whenever I lack the ability to reassure myself. I wish you the best of days Jo

The only suggestion that I can come up for you without knowing you or the details of your situation,is, have you asked yourself whether it is you or other's ,or the situation with others that is contributing to your tense situation? Although you start with yourself, you should now be able to evaluate your relationships with others in order to make it better, or remove yourself from it? Sometimes these things are in the back of your mind, but fear can prevent you from going there? One of the best qualities that a human being has is "Empathy".This quality has taught me so much about myself and others. Try and evaluate your situation from this perspective. The only one that can change your situation is you.I hope that this helps?

Ummm I have always been very aware of myself. How my actions effect other, of my flaws and insecurities, but some how even while in the depths of despair have known that there was something more to me under all the negativity I saw. Because of the insight I have of myself, I have for a long time being able to see past peoples actions and words to who they are and that while others judge them, i know that the things people do and say is usually a consequence of some issue as oppose to it being them and so I am able to empathise and show them love and attention. I suppose I have always wanted that for myself and assumed that my family of all people would be the ones to see that. To see the real me. The difference now is that I identify less with my insecurities, fears, flaws. Through facing them I have seen where their source lies, however am still not free of them totally. I wish my family could see things as I do for themselves as we all have deep seated painbodies individually and collectively, but also so that they would be able to see me. To differentiate my actions from ME, which is what I have for a long time being able to do with them (not always immediately in the moment). When they continue to judge me, wrongly, which is generally always, it hurts so much and I have to fight to detach myself from those judgments and to continue to be... That is soooo difficult. During the 6 months I talked about I came to accept that probably this is just the way things were, and that I would not have the close relationship I craved with them, because essentially we are different. At the time, it hurt to surrender to all the hurt, disappointment and feelings of loneliness that went with it, but now it's not so bad, but when I try to implement it physically, it is taken wrongly and I am seen as being negative. I have always said that I wanted to be far away from them. Before that decision came form a negative place, now it comes from a positive place. They seem to be ok living in the tension, but my essence craves the peace, so I need to start taking care of me. Culivating the esscence of me and finding out who I really am aside from all the negative conditioning. Because of my mental state, My lack of belief in myself and my vast abilities, I have not being able to cultivate the financial means to leave before, neither had the mental capacity to think I could just do it and make a success of it, leaving that is. But during the 6 months as I said all my fears and negative perceptions of myself, real deep seated one's that held me in paralysis became like tiny stepping stones and I had made up my mind to leave the UK for LA for at least 1 year. Now my old fears threaten to dispel all that positive energy and take me back to the state of paralysis. And fear of the same rubbish future is probably what is contributing to my inability to live in the NOW.

Hi quuquuko

You are really a lot further along than you think! You are observing your fear - which is great, because the 'observer' is the real you. The place of the observer is the place where your strength is, it's that peaceful place.

This happened to me a bunch of times. I'd be in the Now and feel that wonderful peace, then BAM - a fear would creep in and I'd feel lost again. I just keep returning to the Now and these 'unconscious' periods are getting shorter and shorter.

"This too shall pass." Try to remember that the negative thoughts and fears will come and go.

Is it possible you're experiencing a 'fear of fear'? That would definately be a future thought!

Hope this, or something from another poster, helps. But know that we've all shared this experience and it gets better!

Thank you for posting on a topic that most have experienced, quuquuko. You shine a light on it in a personal way. I like that!

Sounds like you know your self well and that's good enough, yes?

I experience paralysis from too much analysis, at times, but with presence I'm less anxious. Sometimes I find myself in quicksand or deep mud, but I am able to pull my self out with presence, as Mr. Tolle pointed.

((((((Big Bear Hugs))))))

bearheart7

It's nice to know I'm not alone bearheart7 And I am believing that this moment to shall Pass oldgeeknj Thanks for the Bear Hug!! HEARTFELT LOVE TO YOU ALL