Conversations like this one are happening all over where woman more than men are waking up and asking themselves, who am I and what am I doing here? The New Earth with Eckhart Tolle and Oprah definately will have this effect on many more. I am 56 and after 911 was downsized from a company I thought I would retire from. Here was recently terminated from Corporate America and standing in the midst of a crisis with no job and not knowing what to do next. (Self supported with bills and responsibilities)

Practicing the art of surrender is hard at times like this yet I know that I am being led to a better place where I will be able to define myself by being and not by what I do. I trust in the power that created us and that all we need to do is follow effortlessly by listening to the voice within.

There are many reasons we are given a wake up call about this very topic, unfortunately for most of us is during a crisis if we take the opportunity to surrender, listen and follow.

Priscilla.

I haven't read Maria's book but after watching her on Oprah's show I was PROFOUNDLY moved. My mother has Alsheimer's and lives 1000 miles from me in a home. She is extremely well cared for and where she wants to be but I have not been a good daughter. Due to my finacial situation, I am unable to go see her but I CAN call her more than I do and after watching your show I went directly to my phone and called her. Due to her having this disease, I haven't called her more because she doesn't know me but I have been wrong. Although she is not the mother I used to know, she is the only mother that I have ! Thank you Mrs. Swartzneiger for your candid feelings.You touched my life.

Harpobear, I have trouble viewing the after the show and what happened on the show, it's really shaky. Is there a download like they had for A New Earth webcast? I admit I am sneaking a peak because it hasn't aired in California yet but she is our First Lady! : ) AuntJippy

Hi, here is a link to the 'Video Help' page. If you continue to have problems after looking at the help page, please email our Technical Help Staff. They would be better able to address any technical issues your having. To email Technical Help, click the EMAIL US link from the Oprah.com drop down menu. Then scroll half way down the page and you'll see the link to Email Technical Help.

http://www2.oprah.com/support/media/support_media_wmp.jhtml

I hope you find it helpful. Have a great day.

-HarpoBear, Oprah.com Community Producer

So we can view this as a "After the Show"?

I'm writing this as I'm watching today's show. At the very beginning Maria said something that resonated with me....she said here I am, at age 52, and I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. That was a liberating statement from the nagging feeling I've had that there was something wrong with me, that I should already "be there". I am also 52 and I don't feel that I'm there yet, that I'm still evolving, but this has helped me know that others feel this way, that it's okay.

I have not read Maria's book, but listening to the show I heard her talk about mothering her mother and it touched me deeply, because after major back surgery in May of 2007 I had to fly to Miami in July to find my 88yr old father who was missing for 2 weeks approximately. That experience was both a nightmare and a learning experience. At age 59 I found peace within myself as I walked thru fire.

I was able to care for my dad until he passed on October 27, 2007 along with caring for my mother's burn wound for a month during that timeframe. I always thought my mother did not luv me, then I learned and came to terms that she couldn't show me love because she has been a victim all her life. I am at peace today knowing my dad is at peace and my mother will be ok without me. Yes I do feel lost, but I'm trying to pick up the pieces and move on. Thank you Oprah and Maria.

As soon as this show started, I knew exactly what they were talking about because I just had an awakening of my own. After a breakup, during the first two weeks by myself, I found that everything I had thought was part of my plan was really what I was doing as a member of the relationship. Even though all those plans had fallen apart, and I was starting from scratch, I suddenly felt completely free. When my boyfriend returned home after being out of the country those two weeks, we worked it out, and I was re-entering from a position of knowing I had been playing a part for months. Thus, we had been fighting, and I had been lethargic and withdrawn. I see that he is happily surprised by my new freedom to act and say what I think again. I used to think I was being kind and unselfish, and I realized I was pushing myself away completely. It happens so slowly and sneakily, it's easy to do. Whew!

As a young woman I went to work at a local TV station. I was employed there 17 years, worked my way up the ladder and loved my job and the people I worked with. Then I met my husband, got married and changed everything about my life to accomodate his career. He traveled extensively and I was fortunate enough to travel with him but his also made if impossible to get a job in my new location. Bottom line....the person he fell in love with was dissolving daily. I have changed every aspect of my life...all the things that made me me. It is SO comforting to hear that other woman are in the same situation....I will read her book and I promise myself today to take more time for me and find the right fit for my life. Thanks for listening.

Jul

As a 74 year old woman, I just want to tell all the women in their 30s/40s/50s who are trying to figure what they want to be when they grow up that this feeling will continue off and on til they die....I went through the searching and wishing time for myself, etc....with 4 sons and a good husband, it was a day to day experience...and it never stops....just changes directions as your life gets less cluttered.

Then you wonder how you are suppose to act and dress when you are 74 and feel that you are really only 45, (depending on what the day holds) and somewhere along there you become invisible to the opposite sex and you wonder where some of the attention went....from family and friends. Only a strong constitution will get you through. With me, it is a stong faith in God and the self esteem that I have developed through all the good and hard times. .....and you never give up!!!!

Whoopdeedo! Another celebrity has an epiphany and writes a book. I think it is sad that a person, man or woman, can not figure out for themselves how to get past the snags in their lives without going all slack-jawed in wonder at the words of a famous person. If a greeter at Wal-Mart had gotten in touch with the Oprah show and said that she had written this same book on the very same subject and wanted some publicity, they would have told her "sorry". But, as we heard till I thought I would hurl, Maria is Oprah's friend. So whatever comes from her mouth is like something that has never been thought or said before. And once again nothing Maria has said on this show is original. It all comes down to common sense, That is the thing that is missing in our society today. People have become lazy mentally and wait to get what they are suppose to feel or think from someone famous.

I was so surprised to see someone that I felt had everything go through what I went through 3 years ago. I totally lost myself. I was what everyone wanted but I didnt know who I was. I had a crisis of self! It dawned on me that by being there for everyone I was really there for no one. So I took charge of my life and became me again. Not everyone was happy, I ended up devorced, my four children are shocked by my change, and I totally changed the path of my life. How wonderful everything has become!!! I feel more in tuned with everything. My enthusiasm has returned , my children now know me as a person not "just" a mom and I think I have helped them not fall into the same hole I did. I feel like my life is in color again and there are more opportunities everywhere for me....and I am HAPPY not bad for a 55 year old.

This is soo weird that oprah would be having this show today. I received a call yesterday from a friend, she is around 49 . Last thurs she basically ran away from home because of this very thing. She has an 18 year old son, getting ready to go away to college and also a 15 year old son. Her husband is gone on business a lot. She has been a stay at home mom for years. I have tried to warn her throughout the years that she needed to make sure to not lose herself in her family. Her husband is the type that wanted to have what he considered the picture perfect family. It all came to a head the other day when her son wrote an essay for a college scholarship about who influenced him. Well, this essay was all about his father! and he mentioned his teachers and friends! He didn't mention her once!! If you read it you would have thought he didn't even have a mother!! She basically saw in black and white that she didn't even warrant a mention in her son's life! It hit her finally, after seeing it in black and white, literally. Bottom line I told her was ...there was no respect for her or what she had done for her family. But if we don't respect ourselves and who we are as a person not just a mother or wife or in work....we are not going to get it back!!!

I will definitely go out and buy her this book! Can't wait for friday's show!!! Sounds like another winner!!

This was a very important show for me at age 54. Myself and several friends are all suffering through bad financial divorces and trying to figure out where we belong and what we should be doing and who we really are. This book will help allof us andI plan to get us together and read it together and try to work through this together.

From the year 2000 I lost both my parents four months apart, suffered from cancer, bladder fell out and had surgery, bad hernia repair that failed and two moves. When I moved from NC to BUffalo NY I was there nine days when my husband of 20 years told me he hadn't loved me for 12 years and that h