Hello, Please don't shoot the messenger, but I've seen some emails from organizations that are not happy about the airing of tomorrow's shown on 237 Reasons to Have Sex. I think a healthy relationship with your husband is very important, but I am concerned that we might be legitimizing some very unsavory and criminal sexual behaviors and businesses through this show. I'd like to know what is being done/will be done during this show to let pornographers know that you are not supporting their sleazy businesses?

I am saddened to learn of this show. I think it is unnecessary to inform people that to spice up their marriages they sould involve an outside party. Pornography does nothing more that objectify the woman or man in the image or show, and provides an unrealistic image of what sex in like. Sex should be an intimate action between 2 people, not one of kink. I am dissappointed to find out that Oprah, whom many people look up to would condone such an activity. _*I will not watch the show!!!!*_ Even if I were curious to see how Oprah would protray this as "not her idea" or of not condoning this activity. Oprah, by merely talking about this is condoning it!! By showing people that this is happening could give the wrong idea that it is okay. I do not agree. I believe that Oprah has opened the door to hurt a lot of women and marriages. Oprah, the great defender of women, will unknowingly influence many men to bring this into their home. Those women who cannot defend themselves or deny thier husbands will become innocent victims at Oprah's hands! I was abused as a child and did not have the ability to defend myself in instances of sex. I could not tell a man no, no matter what he was asking for. Now that I am older, I have discovered this about myself, received counceling, and am now in control of my sexuallity, however, there are others who are not. Of all people Oprah should know of the phenomenon that happens to abused women. I am disappointed in the choice that Oprah has made to make this action okay. I am disappointed that Oprah is in search of ratings so much that she would choose to air this smut!

Dear Oprah, Say it's not so! The email I received about the show you plan to air says YOU WILL ADVOCATE one-night stands, pornography, and open marriages... Oprah, your shows have served the purpose over the years of enlightening women, not degrading them. Your topics have been so helpful, while the angle you're taking on this one is so hurtful. Surely you know how destructive the beliefs are that marriage is disposable, that sex is recreational, and that infidelity is acceptable. By entertaining the possibility of otherwise on your show, you are endorsing the tragic outcomes which are undermining the very foundations of America on more levels than just sexually. Please show integrity, moral strength and courage by refusing to air this episode for the sake of women, children, and couples that may be affected by your influence. Think of the children from those "open marriages," the wives of the straying husbands, and the sons and daughters that perform in pornography. These are real people, not just numbers. Please have some compassion for them - sincere and real compassion - not just feigned compassion for publicity's sake. Please prove your compassion by refusing to air a show with such a destructive topic. Thank you in advance for your consideration.

I JUST WANT TO KNOW IF WE THE INTERESTED PARTIES ARE GOING TO BE ABLE TO GET A PRINTABLE LIST OF THESE 237 REASONS TO HAVE GOOD SEX

I have always enjoyed your show, but I am appalled that you would allow this trash on your show. We have enough problems in this country trying to keep families strong and together without television shows glamorizing the use of pornography and multiple partners to enhance your sex life. Haven't we been warning our kids against multiple partners and unsafe sexual practices because of STDs and AIDS????? Now you are going to promote it. Not only that, but one of the greatest causes of DIVORCE, RAPE, and ABUSE in this country is pornography. It is degrading to women and for someone who has always been an advocate for women, I am SHOCKED that you would promote the use of pornography to "spice" up a marriage or relationship. How about a show that promotes the goodness of legal marriages and children and love and trustworthiness and loyalty and honor and sacrifice for the ones you love! That is what this country needs, an advocate for families! PLEASE, PLEASE OPRAH, just because this topic may be popular with a few, have a little INTEGRITY and don't show this program.

I am saddened that this excellent program has gone to such LOW levels...... Lynne Christensen

Looks like we are in the minority here of those commenting about this episode of Oprah.

My wife and I have been in the 'lifestyle' for over 10 years. Some people call it Swinging, others call it Open Marriage, while others call it Friends with benefits. In the past 10 years we have met people that we would have otherwise never known. People in all walks of life, all ages, and all races. Many of these people would give you the shirt off of their back if you asked them for it. Not everyone we have become 'friends' with have we had sex with as we believe that it's more about friends first then whatever happens, happens.

This country has a very Puritanical view of sex where sex is wrong except for the purpose of procreation. We know couples who have 3 kids and that is all the sex they have ever had. This is not healthy for life, love or relationships. They miss out on the fun, the connection, the exercise and the excitement that each and every person should experience in life.

While I'm sure that with many people in this country, open marriages or consensual sex among adults is strictly taboo, evidence does not support that open marriages, or friends with benefits is any more detrimental to a relationship than not being in the lifestyle. I have seen statistics that show where there are fewer divorces in the 'lifestyle' than outside of it. People in the lifestyle aren't any less educated than those not as you will find doctors, lawyers and even Pastors.

This episode will hopefully show the value of healthy sexual relationships with spouses as well as with others. When a couple decides to pursue an Open Marriage or Friends with Benefits, and they do this together, this couple is sure to grow stronger together as the decision they made was made between them. Many of our friends have been married in excess of 10 years, many over 20 and some over 30 years. As for porn, toys, or other enhancements to the marriage, many in the US could benefit from these if they were to simply open their eyes and venture past what they are afraid of.

Major props go to Oprah for airing this show. We can hardly wait!

Yeah I agree!! Grrrr... Close minded people! You have to spice things up sometimes!! I watched the show yesterday and it sounded somewhat like what I live thru (Whole different topic **Sigh**) So now I need some excitement. Just because it may not fit your lifestyle, beliefs etc. don't dog on it!! Us crazy people need a laugh or two or heck maybe an idea or two to enrich our lives!*! I CAN'T WAIT!* PS I want a copy of that list when it comes out!! :)) "I find you offensive for finding me offensive" ~~Eminem

To debndannga: if you want an open marriage or a friendship with benefits, then you should not get married in the first place! Sounds like sexual addiction to me, not love.

Hi,
I want you to know that I, too, have met a wide variety of people over the last ten years. I would encourage everyone to meet people and share in the many ways that we can be enriched by widening our circle of friends. I would also encourage them to enjoy these relationships Platonically so as to avoid getting & spreading diseases, including diseases of the soul.

What if your partner didn't really want an open marriage but was coerced into it? What if your partner felt you would leave if they didn't agree? Unfortunately, this is probably the case in many open marriages -- and the partner who suggested open marriage wouldn't even know.

I simply want to encourage everyone to choose to keep sex within marriage as a defining element of marriage. Yes, there may be sensible reasons to do this as well, such as STDs, but the emotional reasons are the most convincing. And your statistics based on divorce are not in any way reliable regarding true happiness -- like I said, it is VERY likely that many agree to Open Marriage in order to avoid divorce.

While I have only had three pregnancies, I can assure you that this is no indication of how often I enjoy intimacy with my husband. You're absolutely right that sex is meant for connecting, and when your connections are going too many different directions, they are all weakened.

You also bring up other great benefits of sex, including exercise & enjoyment! While focusing on the cardio-vascular benefits, let's not dismiss other ways that sex affects our heart's condition. And, let's remember that we find the most enjoyment when we are working for our partner's satisfaction rather than our own -- and open marriage is, indeed, simply seeking selfish satisfaction.

So, I'm not convinced! Unfortunately, though, I'm afraid too many people, yes, even educated people like you pointed out, aren't able to see past your friendly invitation to open up. Your terminology makes them feel like they're closed, intolerant, and uneducated due to fear.

Hopefully, though, they will see through my response that they are not alone, they actually have WIDE OPEN eyes that seek to see beyond the pleasure of the moment; that limiting sexual relations to marriage is NOT intolerant of others but actually shows respect to them, that they are not just instruments used to reach someone else's personal sexual fulfillment; that their "fear" is grossly mislabeled -- it is actually a sense of self-assurance that they know the path that has been shown, through generations of time, to be the most effective in having true joy within a marriage; and that their education can be used to talk openly and straightforwardly regarding the MORE THAN 237 REASONS to keep sex as a beautiful marital covenant.

Thank you.

I didn't realize the Oprah show was in such need of ratings! I always thought of this show as a BIG cut above Jerry Springer's-guess not! I will not be watching-my time is too valuable to watch trash!

Here it is again, the first six posts are from people trying to force their view of life, sex, and marriage on others. Thinking their morals and values are what everyone's should be. People are or at least should be individuals, able to make up their own minds. More people and couples are involved in the types of activities mentioned than you think. But due to this attitude of society forcing their views on others and looking down on people whose activity does not mirror theirs is why you do not hear more about it.

I do not believe Oprah will be saying (as stated in post #2) "that to spice up their marriages they should involve an outside party", I think it will be presented as a choice some people have made or may choose to make, not something they should do.

Just look at the Mary Winkler case, a woman basically gets away with murder and her defense was her husband wanted her to dress sexy, wear high heels to spice up their marriage. The puritanical attitude in this country sees this as a justifiable reason to commit murder. On the contrary, this is a popular fantasy among married couples, not of some sick minority. At least Mr. Winkler was keeping it in his own marriage and in his own bedroom, until Mary Winkler or her attorney decided to make it known to the world, this is considering it actually happened at all.

Many of the posts are actually repressing women instead of supporting them as they proclaim. Many women enjoy being sexy, dressing sexy, being seen as a desirable sexual person, and enjoying the physical pleasures of sex without having to have a relationship with the partner. Because of the attitudes expressed above women cannot feel free to live their lives as they choose. Those attitudes and society dictates they should not have any sexual desires unless there is a relationship, preferably in the confines of marriage. These attitudes would have women only having sex for procreation or when they feel they must give in to their husbands' perverted desires; women should not enjoy sex or have any sexual desires of their own. You can look around at the betrayal in marriages, by both men and women, and see that is just not happening, yet, consensual sex among adults with the knowledge of their partner is taboo. In my opinion this is going through life with a blindfold on, only seeing what is only in your own mind and thinking that is the way things are or should be. Women are people and people are individuals, they are different, let them be free to be different. How boring it would be if everyone were exactly the same.

The show is titled 237 Reasons to have Sex; this does not mean all 237 will be for you. I feel it will present 237, take what you like, if you like any of them, leave the rest with the idea someone else might like them.

Two reason out of 237...[1] you have to like the person, [2] and love them. I find it impossible to have sex with someone that I don't like. You can love someone, but not like them!

Next week my husband and I will be celebrating our 32nd anniversary. I can honestly say that we love each other just as much as we did when we got married, if not more. I not only love my husband, but adore the guy. He's my best friend. Over the past 32 years, we have worked at our marriage to keep it strong and fresh. It's not something either of us takes for granted and I am so proud that I will be celebrating 32 years of marriage next week to such a wonderful man. I consider what we have in and out of the bedroom sacred, so I don't understand those that are into the "open marriage" lifestyle. Marriage is a committment between two people...not a group of people.

I am in an open marriage, I have been married 18+ years and I love my husband he is my best friend. He has been with a good friend of mine. It does not mean he doesn't love me or that our sex together is lacking. People have to start to realize that sex is just sex just something people do, you have to care about someone but you do not need to be in love with someone, people who forbid this behavior need to look deep into their souls and heart and ask themselves if it really is a bad thing, and if someone they thought was attractive came up to them what would they really do. YOUR MARRIED NOT DEAD