Julie:

We do not live in a bubble and if you are working on one trigger at a time - that's gonna take a long time. That idiot that cuts you off while driving and causes you stress can't be controlled. The checkout lady at the grocery store being nasty can't be controlled. Triggers are everywhere.

Personally, I decided to confront them head-on. I am gonna be honest here, OK? I figured if I was going to fail it might as well be sooner than later, so I could go back to my dear friends (my cigarettes). I went out to eat, took long drives, went to a smoking sports bar and drank. I could go on and on. Nothing made me want to smoke though. The stench of the sports bar actually ended up helping me, because I was so grossed out by it. I went to Bingo last night and if you've ever been, you know what a smoke-fest that is. I didn't want one. Sat with a lady who didn't smoke and came to find out she belongs to the gym I just joined. So, in putting myself in a tempting situation, I ended up not only proviong that I can do this, but also making a new friend.

Like Nike says - "Just Do It!" You only have things to gain and nothing to lose.

Ellen, Florida, 42 years old.
1-2 packs per day smoker for 20+ years
Taking Chantix, Relacore, Exercise and Common Sense.
10 days Breathing Free

Julie -

Congratulations on how you handled that situation with your son. I, like you, stopped smoking in certain places after a few quits, and just don't think about doing it there anymore. But that was a big step for you last night. You should be very proud.

Ellen -

Your point is so valid that there are always going to be triggers and we have to rise above them and focus on the good we are doing for ourselves. And placing yourself and and succeeding in challenging places should make you feel so good and carry you forward. So true, we cannot control anyone's behaviour other than our own. So their actions or reactions should not affect what we do to ourselves. We do not live in a perfect world, unfortunatley. But then, what would be perfect for one, wouldn't be perfect for another, would it?
LOL Hey - good luck at the gym. That is awesome.

You both have a great day...
Pam

Well actually I do live in a bubble..I am disabled...I can't work, I don't go to bars ever...I hang out with Christians who don't smoke or drink... though I have to say those times now are far and few inbetween anymore in regards to going to Christian events. No one I know smokes actually...except one lady who is the mom of one of my sons friends who I talk to once in a great while on the phone and she is a closet smoker..smokes in the garage or outside like I do. we know each other but aren't really friends. Yea people do stuff like cut me off when I am driving but its not a trigger for me because I broke the habit of smoking in the car years ago...my trigger is my home when I spend most of my time. When I am at my mom's for instance...no one smokes...I don't get the triggers there like at home. The last two days (to give you an idea about my life) the only place I have gone is to take my son to school and pick him up..otherwise I have been at home) Now today I do need to get gas and some groceries but that is my big excitement for the day. Anyway I think that is great how well you are doing. I have done this approch before...the grin and bear it and I failed miserably. we each have to find our own way through this and I believe this time I am finding my way through it.

thanks iamwriter..the neat thing is I didn't have to think about it...just reading through all of Dr. Oz's writings on it is really sinking in...more then I ever imaged it could...so I am very happy about that.

I grew up in a time when smoking was socially acceptable. Doctors smoked sometimes while seeing their patients, preachers smoked, there were ashtrays in movie threaters, in grocery stores. I remember my mom smoking while shopping. All the movie stars smoked in their movies. I remember my parents having a smoke after meals 'to relax' a bit before going on with things. The only warnings on the packs were 'smoking might be dangerous to your health'...it took years for congress to get the cigarette companies to fess up and show their studies which they hid for a long long time. Smokers and their families started sueing them because of the addiction...of them not knowing they were getting addicted to smoking. Everyone was under the impression you smoked to be 'cool' but didn't have to smoke...that it wasn't addicting. Now if they tried to put ashtrays in grocery stores or threaters image the outrage over that? No one would dream of it. All the doctors had to quit as they were setting a bad example for their patients, the preacher quit and decided it was a sin to smoke because it harmed the body. Alot of change there just in my lifetime. For a long time I was angry about all of this too...I was angry that I was lead to believe like so many others, that smoking was ok and cool and as a shy teenager I wanted to fit in and smoking helped me do that. Now I am looked down on and an outcast for smoking! I struggled with this for a long time..many of you might not understand that..unless you are as old as I am and grew up in that time. That's ok...just typing it out helps even if no one understands. Everyone I knew through the years quit smoking.

So as I said...I do live in a bubble in many ways...no one I am around, smokes. I have no smoking friends...everyone quit or never started...no one in my family smokes but one aunt that I rarely see. (like once every five years or so). The few that smoked quit years ago...so here I am all by myself on this...which in this case is a good thing because I won't be around smokers or anyone giving me a hard time about it...I never go anywhere where people smoke. If I happen to smell smoke on someone it bothers me..they stink...which means I probably stink...I know my hair does and I hate it...just another reason to quit. Thanks for your supportive words.

Well, you are not alone in your bubble. Although I try to get out, I do not work anymore (stopped in 2001 due to RA) so I don't have a lot of social interaction during the day. I'm blessed to be married to a very nice man, who comes home at night so I have some company...LOL But for most days, I am alone all day with my kitty Cleo. I totally understand about what you wrote, the era in which we grew up and the conditioning we received regarding smoking. It was just the THING to do and okay... No one around me smokes. NO ONE.... Just like you, they may have in the past, but no longer. My husband never smoked. My friends do not smoke. Just me. I've started stops (does that make sense) several times. Each time, even though I started again, I've smoked less and in fewer places. I am arming myself now with more info (The Easy Way to Stop Smoking has some valid points to inform you about stopping....) and I'm preparing myself. My dream is to be smokefree for several weeks before spring, so I can go outside and enjoy the air....and not be tired to a cigarette. I've been working on a Vision Board, cutting out quotes and breath free picture (people, beautiful scenes and so on) to look at. It does focus the mind. So, if you need to write, I'll be checking in and we can relate to each other I'm sure...
Pam

I am divorced (years ago) from an abusive marriage. I have my son who is 12..I am 47...got married in my thirties so I am an older mom. I don't date...don't go anywhere to meet anyone! lol. Plus I don't want to end up dating a smoker (if I ever date again that is)...being a non-smoker I wouldn't want to be around a smoker...

Anyway I was just dx with RA too in a knuckle in my right hand...:( Was so unexpected and so painful! that knuckle had been hurting for a few weeks but not bad...I work out using hand weights...and I thought I over stretched that finger somehow hurting that knuckle so I didn't think much about until one morning I woke up and could barely use my fingers. That whole area felt swollen, extremely painful to move any of my fingers. Being right handed this made doing simply things like twisting a lid off of something very hard. I had to use my left hand...ugh. I didn't know what was going on. I went to the dr...he refered me to another doctor who refered me to another doctor...ugh...finally I was dx with RA (
Rheumatoid arthritis) for those that don't know. I got an injection in the joint which hurt like the daylights even though it had numbing stuff in it...to help with the pain. Of course I researched it and all the information is very depressing about it...spreading to other joints even organs..etc, etc...

Smoking isn't going to help this I figure and just gives me another reason to quit. Anyway I keep busy on the internet...obviously...lol. I make video's for youtube...do emails...read and watch the news online...do alot of online bible studies, reading commentaries, that sort of thing...learning to do a new art program on the computer...supposely you can do animation with it..its called gimp. I have my own website with an online novel I have been working on off and on over a ten year period....(see a pattern here? I move slowly apparently...get married late, have a baby late, gradually quit smoking over years...take years to write one novel...I need to live to be 500 to complete everything..lol).

I can't smoke and type at the same time...lol...never got in the 'habit' of smoking while on the computer anyway so this gives me something to do besides cleaning house, running errands, etc, etc...I really like my alone time when my son is at school. Of course I like him too....;)...but having such a huge age difference between us and him being a hyper LOUD boy, I really need this quiet time. We have two cats and one dog...its like taking care of little toddlers all day long though...ugh. Whoever said pets were stress relievers didn't know what they were talking about! lol. At least they sleep alot! They fight like little kids among themselves...sometimes its actually funny seeing the two cats staring at each other with AJ having one raised paw to hit with. Buster, the dog, will join them in the staring and glaring contest waiting for one to 'hit and run'...then he chases who ever is running!! But mostly they just drive me crazy...sigh.

Anyway I guess I better shut up....I made a list of 'things to do today' and so far haven't done a whole lot on it. Nice talking to you!

Oh yea...forgot..its after noon now..still have not finished that pack. I never smoke a whole cig at a time either though...haven't smoked a whole cig in years...probably make me sick if I did. mmmmm that is probably a good thing.

Julie