Pety maybe but im still upset.....advice?

Belle, Sometimes when we have a girls night out and have to many drinks we do make a fool of ourselves. Throwing up all night and spending it in the ladies room is a consequenses. If your H cousin saw you and related it to your H what did you expect him to say. I'm sure he made a joke out of it so as not to feel the embarrassment himself. We have to be accountable for what we do. Forget it and carry on. It isn't as though you were stripping or dancing with dirty with other men. You were throwing up. Let it go.

The answer to you question is... Yes you are being petty..... Advise... Move forward. Have fun and be more careful next time out....

belle

I would talk to the cousin if I were you and ask her what she meant by "making a fool of myself" Was there something you might have done BEFORE you got sick in the bathroom that you possibly don't remember doing because of the alcohol you drank. I'm not saying you did, but hey it happens. I myself remember drinking too much at a party (this was like 30 years ago when I was young) and running my mouth a bit too much until someone pulled me aside and told me I being kinda obnoxious. I got the hint and kept quiet for the most part the rest of the nite. Whether or not anything else happened I think his cousin should have kept her mouth shut to your H. I think tattle taleling on people is immature and it could be that she was trying to start trouble between you and your H. And yes I think your H could have just said "I know she had a bad nite" without going into details about what happened once you got home. I would just just chalk it up to immaturity on thier parts and let it go. Maybe tell your H that "you felt betrayed when he talked about your behavior with his cousin and tell him you would appreciate if he didn't do that anymore." It wasn't really that big of a deal to him, and I don't think he saw this as betraying you. I think you just need to talk to him about not doing this in the future.

I have to agree with Peaceyma..........your husband was simply making it light of it! Had he confronted your cousin it would have become a bigger deal. I think he did the right thing. I would say the cousin was doing the wrong thing by bringing it up and suggesting you"made a fool of yourself". I don't know about where you live but where I am the flu is going around llike crazy and everyone is throwing up. I wouldn't say any of them are "making a fool" of themselves. I'm glad the other guys laughed a long too. Trust me all of them have "been there done that". Don't be so hard of yourself or your husband.

By the way I have to say I like the suggestion of asking the cousin what it was that you "made a fool of yourself". Inquire as to weather there was something specific you did and don't play into her game of the fact that you were throwing up being "foolish".

Your feelings are not petty. I sounds like you felt a bit betrayed by your husband for not standing up for and defusing the issue rather than going along with it. I think he thought he was defusing the issue and he may have been a little embarrassed and caught off guard. Your feeling are valid and you might just want to cut him a little slack.

That is a good point souls, belles feeling are not petty. We feel how we feel. Basically our feelings are what help us pay attention to what is going on around us. But what was not nice was not feeling validated by your husband, especially when you were sick and not drunk. Men have a certain way of not understanding women. They want to fix or solve whatever it is we bring to their attention. Probably all you really wanted was an acknowledgement that you were hurt and felt a bit betrayed by him not sticking up for you. He was trying to fix you by letting you know it was not a big deal. It's his way of saying don't sweat the small stuff. (Not that this is small for you, but for a guy, "getting drunk and getting sick" is small and they are pretty used to taking a lot of ribbing for that kind of behavior.)) It hurts when it feels like a teammate teams up against you. I doubt he would have liked it if the roles were reversed, especially if you had elaborated on the story like he did.

I just would like to bring up a couple of things I noticed. The first is that it was your husband's cousin that brought it up to your husband. Relatives generally feel like they are in a special club and don't think it is off limits to discuss other relatives/family in a way they probably wouldn't discuss other people. So if you think of it that way, it might be a little easier to forgive him his failure to be the knight in shining armor.

The other thing is that we ALL have moments we are not proud of. I have found the best way to get over things like this is to not take myself too seriously. Laugh it off. You know your pain is that instead of saying something to stop the conversation or just ignore it, he added to it. But he thinks like a guy and it was a small thing. I bet he does not get the "principle" behind your pain. I do tho, but I'm female. So no, it's not petty being hurt. But you probably need to find a way to explain he hurt your feelings because he joined in and you hope he will stick up for you next time, because that is loyalty to the team of you and he.