PROCESSING ANGER!.............EMOTIONS

Hi qyitestorm,

Did you know I heard about an experiment somewhere (not sure where) in which some plants were exposed to negative emotions and anger and others were not. The plants that were in a peaceful environment thrived. The plants which were in a combative environment did not. So it does really make you think about what we are projecting when we are angry.

I also think a lot of anger occurs when people do not correctly perceive your intent or have an inaccurate perception of whatever emotion or motivation they think is behind your words or actions. This happens quite often on this board, especially lately it seems. I have seen various accusations flying about, such as attributing hatred where there is none. Words are tricky. You don't have all the emotional cues around words, as you do when talking to someone in person. So sometimes people project their own anger or angst into the words of others that are phantoms of their own imagination. And it is like a vicious cycle, fueling itself, as it can lead to reactive behavior for all concerned.

The best thing you can do in such a situation is simply find ways to remain anchored in that space of Peace and Love we all share, including doing your best to see things from the other person's perspective, while still not partaking in or agreeing with the anger. Sometimes taking a break can be wise too, if emotions are getting the best of you. Even just a few deep breaths can make a big difference. That's especially good advice for parents, as it is so easy to get frustrated at times. A few deep breaths or even a temporary distraction can go a long way in dissipating strong emotions.

In my own personal life, I have made a conscious choice to reduce reactive behavior, and it is making a big difference. When I feel the urge to react in an angry or frustrated way, I am learning how to stop myself. It really is possible if you try. For example, if you are in a situation where you are receiving poor customer service, responding angrily actually makes the situation worse. I don't always succeed in being serene all the time (lol), but the results are noticeable, and I feel MUCH more at peace and even physically better too. Things just don't phase me anymore like they did in the past.

In peace,
BridgeBuilder

to fully understand, to honestly and truthfully realize that....

Then one can fully understand, and honestly and truthfully realize that...

...always.

peace

Good Day,

I was brought up in a very quiet home, thusly I brought my family up the same. Now adults, educated and on their own.

Anger knocking: I don't recall when but our home became disrupted when evil came knocking at the door and without an invitation it entered. It was in the guise of an angry alcoholic man. I cannot put my finger on the time but it entered into my life and the rest became a nightmare of unquiet & abuse. When the children were home we never had any alcohol drinks. It started after they left. I was so battered it took three weeks in the hospital to put me together and several plastic surgeries.

Consequences: He was put in prison for 1 year and then probation for 3 years. Of course I divorce him.

Results: Fast forward, 20 years...Today I enjoy the peaceful quiet and solitude living in the country.

Beginning: I amazed myself, I survived through my spirituality and strong belief in God. I finally remarried and have a life second to none. Through God all thing are possible....

Hi Q/S,

Anger is there for a reason, it is destructive when there is a lack of control when it used and responding to it. It might be looked at in a negative light, but I don't believe that it is all negative. I can see it being something that is meant to bring about a change or an awareness or something that needed addressing, an expression of hurt and disapproval.

Anger something that is misrepresented and perhaps misunderstood.

Blessings

Jinda

I agree. There is something like righteous anger too. But too often are people pretending to be righteously angry when they are in fact feeling hurt.

Yeah,

Perhaps there is a perception that hurt is a "weakness" to the person and if expressed, it can leave a person vulnerable and open to abuse, and that is why anger can be a replacement,it's powerful and it gets results, but not necessarily the reason behind it.

Anger is not misunderstood,

anger is misunderstanding.

Anger is a result of confusion, that's why angry people ask so many questions.

I was content sitting on the back porch listening to the birds....

THEN MY NEIGHBOR STARTS MOWING HIS GRASS!!!

WHY!?

WHY IS HE MOWING NOW?!

WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS?!

DOESN'T HE KNOW HE'S BUGGING ME?!

WHY DOESN'T HE HURRY UP AND FINISH?!

WHY DO I HAVE TO HAVE SUCH AN INSENSITIVE NEIGHBOR?!

WHY IS HE MOWING HIS STUP......

I was interupted by a voice...

...a soft, beautiful voice from above....

"His grass..."

WHAT?!

WHAT ABOUT HIS GRASS?!!!

...again, the angelic voice spoke to me...

"His grass....his grass....."

WHAT?!

WHAT ABOUT HIS GRASS?!

the voice continued....

"the grass.....it needed mowing."

Damn you wife, why must you spoil my anger with reason? And what the heck are you doing on the darn roof, anyway?

peace

BridgeBuilder wrote: In my own personal life, I have made a conscious choice to reduce reactive behavior, and it is making a big difference.

I feel you on that because we can live only in the present because the present is all we get, we were equipped with filters that help us to select our significant experiences as part of our conscious mind!.........

BridgeBuilder wrote: When I feel the urge to react in a angry or frustrated way, I am learning how to stop myself. It really is possible if you try.

Always feeling that statement because our unconscious mind, holds information containing just about all of who we are and all of what we have experienced in thought, words and action!............

Your whole post was so informative and I thank you for your response!...........Someone reading it at this present moment may be being helped by your suggestions!...........Thanks again!

Qyite Storm

freedomguy wrote: it is always up to us.......

What I don't understand is why one doesn't realize the fact that just like we can replace a file in a computer with another, updated version, or even a completely different file..........we can just as easily update our experience and "replace" outdated thought-files by using some techniques which help to facilitate the proper inner process!

I say proper inner process because we all know that covering up or pushing down negative emotions to the unconscious does not really solve any problem!..........It may appear to give us temporary relief, but that is about it!.............Sooner or later it will surface again!

Qyite Storm

menosaint,

So very sorry to hear what anger lead up to for you!..........But I want to also thank you for this post because maybe it will bring others to realize what anger can really lead to and it delights me to know when someone is in complete communication with someone greater than us all............How right you are*:* "Through God all things are possible."............

Many blessing to you and yours,

Qyite Storm

Jinda wrote: Anger is there for a reason, it is destructive when there is a lack of control when it used and responding to it. It might be looked at in a negative light, but I don't believe that it is all negative. I can see it being something that is meant to bring about a change or an awareness or something that needed addressing, an expression of hurt and disapproval.

Anger something that is misrepresented and perhaps misunderstood (Jinda).

To me, emotionally speaking, anger holds the attributes of fire!........While fire can be a source of life, blown out of proportion it is a source of destruction!..............

Many individuals say that they get a feeling as if their blood was "boiling" during episodes of anger!..........Or we use expressions such as "explosion" or "outburst" of anger!.............Most words used to describe anger carry a level of fire..............Another interesting aspect of anger is that our blood pressure goes up and our hormone levels in the bloodstream are also oscillating during expressions of anger!...............

Qyite Storm

I agree, there is a danger in covering up, or supressing anger. It can create high blood pressure and stress until it blows or you do.

I am not sure about replacing it like a computer file, I guess it depends on what you replace it with, understanding or reason would be ok I suppose.

I prefer to just "let it go" I can identify where it comes from and why it comes up, so I can just let it go. I created it, I can destroy it, and I have no use for it anyway.

People often tell me I am too calm, they wonder why I so rarely get angry, and there say they're worried that I am keeping my anger bottled up. But I don't, I just release it. It's like carrying a box of bricks, when you don't need bricks, what's the point? Just put the box down.

*"...what use is anger when the same end may be accomplished by reason? Anger is not expedient even in battle or in war; for it is prone to rashness, and while it seeks to bring about danger, does not guard against it." *- Seneca

Peace.

Qyitestorm, Anger is simply a normal human emotion. When one experiences anger, it is a cue to that person that the unacceptable is about to occur, is occurring or has occurred. A man sees a woman about to be assaulted by a man, the 1st man experiences 'anger' and comes to the defense of the woman. A woman looks out of her window and sees some boys striking a cat with sticks, the woman becomes angry and screams at the kids to stop! A teen girl has been repeatedly slapped in her face by her boyfriend, she tells no one, doesn't object to the abuse and tries to change her behavior as to not 'provoke' another slap or worse.....she does not get 'angry'. Anger is not bad, in fact lack of the emotion of anger is maladaptive. What you describe in this thread is not anger but Rage. Jesus became angry, God has been angry, virtually everyone experiences and expresses anger, 'anger' is not something we should attempt to supress or eliminate. Psychiatrically, suppression of healthy anger can lead to physical self abuse, self mutilation like cutting or burning oneself, depression, victim syndrome, etc. What you speak of is Rage not Anger ..... Two distinctly different things. Rage is not an emotion & is maladaptive behavior. Anger is not destructive, people are not afflicted with anger, people may be afflicted with uncontrollable 'rage' and 'rage' is destructive. Readers might want to get accurate information to topic before deciding that anger is an emotion to ignore or rid themselves of. As for processing anger, a balanced rational person processes 'anger' as they would any other normal emotion....it simply dissipates. Peace & Understanding balance56

qyitestorm wrote:
We are truly a fascinating design!..................

But the one emotion that seems to afflict so many of us is anger!..............In fact, anger does not seem to respect limits of age as it afflicts the young and the elderly, the single and the married, male and females alike!................ Anger is such a destructive emotion that it impacts the one who feels it, those around them, and even their physical environments!...............Most of us can feel "bad vibes" in the air after explosions of anger!.....................

What are some possible scenarios and actions you can contribute to this thread that will help process anger when it comes up in us?............

Much Love,

Qyite Storm

Traditional chinese Medicine says anger lives in the liver, so a good liver detox and colon cleanse is one way to help the body remove the anger from within the body' s celluar memory.

I have been using sounds encoded with binaural beats and I am amazed at amount of repressed anger I have released over the past couple of years.

The other thing is to look at the people, situations and your thoughts as another way of processing and releasing anger.

Anger can also be the result of nutritional deficienes like kelp which is needed by the thyriods or amino acid , B complex and other mineral /vitamins can cause an imbalance that leads to anger, as well.