I don't know what to do....

I know you must feel very, very alone. Do you have friends? Anyone you can talk to? Sounds like you really need a shoulder to be there for you IN PERSON or at least close by. I am so sorry you are in this situation. I just posted on my blog feeling very angry about the present state of our economy, joblessness, etc. We are all so terribly frustrated. I hope you are able to pray... that always helps. I do wish you luck and remember, there is NO SHAME in asking for help or in reaching out for it when it's offered to you.....even if it's a soup kitchen. Take warmth where you can.

"angel"

First things first.... your daughters love you and are proud of you no matter what. I am a 21 year old college senior and my dad too is a photographer who has been struggling all my life. My mom is also the one who brings home the money for our family and unfortunetly my dad has had to downsize his already small business due to the economy. It's heartbreaking to see my dad struggle, however he is doing something he loves to do and always has a smile on his face no matter what. Again you must know your daughters are proud of you and love you very much no matter what you decide to do with your life. Unfortunetly, if this is what your wife wants right now, let her have it. You can still be a huge part of your daughters lives - because you have been already and they are lucky to have such an amazing father.

As for the economy, it does not look like it is getting any better (seeing what my dad is going through). For us, we have even taken in one of my dad's friends, for the past year, (he has been living with us) due to the economy and having a hard time finding a job. The best advice that I can give is to keep your head high, turn to your friends, and be there as much as you can for your family. Everything works out in the end- promise!

Your friend,

Lyndsay

Dear angelpalm3,

your story made me sad. Life can be so cruel sometimes, but it is always a gift by itself, worth living and struggling and full of unexpected surprises.

I'm really sorry that I can't offer you any material help (I'm in Europe), not even an advice, but, for what is worth, I will pray for you and hope everything works out well for you. I don't know if you're religious, but try to turn to God. Pray and hope, and ask for help wherever you can. Have you tried asking for help in your local Catholic church? I know that Catholics always try to help people in need. "A man can not always do everything, but what he can is do his best."

I hope my words aren't offending you in any way...I'm just doing my best. As I said, I will do what I can do - pray and hope everything turns out all right. I truly believe it will. The power of prayer and positive thinking should never be underestimated. And when it does, I hope you share it with us.

God bless you,

englezica

Last week I had to travel from TN to upstate NY to my eldest sister's
funeral. I left on Friday and Friday night while motoring through
upstate Ohio, I struck a deer and totaled my vehicle in a blinding
rainstorm. I wasn't hurt at all...just profoundly shook up at
experiencing even more loss.

I was able to rent a car and made it to my
sister's memorial. After the service I pointed the car towards Niagara
Falls...about an hour away. I'd never been there. Later in the day, I
stood on the overlook at American Falls....and had some thoughts. Since
they were a bit too cliche', I decided to back away and get my...well...thoughts
together. I thought of my two daughters. And I thought of all of the things I so desperately wanted to do in my life like, travel Europe, write a book, be a succesful photographer, be a better dad and human being....and I simply want so desperately to feel secure and happiness in my life. I just don't see it happening....the future is so....murky....I just want to smile again. Does any of this make sense?

I'm back in TN now waiting for an insurance settlement on the
car. There wasn't one resume response in my email when I returned. Is
it really this bad? Is this what the rest of my life is going to be?
I've always been smart enough to find a way up and out...I swear...this
time I am in big trouble. In any event I am trying to gain focus and
energy into finding an angel with an opportunity or anything to save
me. I am running out of time and I am terrified.

Thank you all for you kindness and comfort. I really do appreciate you
all. My wish is to come out of this a better man, but right now I am at
my lowest point of my life and I'm trying desperately to ward of these
waves of depression. I am just so lost....my soul physically hurts...

I wish Oprah would knock on my door and throw her arms around me and hug me. I would ask for nothing else...

Thank you all for your suggestions and advice. I am still struggling to find my path, but your positive force truly helps.

It's true, your children won't stop loving you just because you don't have a job. And just because your wife left you, it doesn't mean she has stopped loving you. I may be right, I may also be wrong. But didn't you say her oncologist mentioned that most patients undergo personality changes? She must have a lot of things going on her mind. Have you ever thought of the possibility that she left you because she doesn't want to be a burden to you? Or maybe she just needs time to "find herself." If you truly love her, you need to be patient with her. She did say she wants you to remain friends with her, right? So if you can't be there as her husband, be there for her as a friend...just be there for her. She might want you to think that she's strong, but patients need all the love and support they can get from their family and friends!

Recently, I have been so worried about our finances and all I could think of is how I can bring in more income to the family. Is that bad? No, I don't think so. But my problem is just so much bigger than what I can do for my family that there's no one else who can help me but somebody much bigger than me...my GOD!

Sometimes the people blame GOD for the problems that they have. But HE is a good, loving and merciful GOD. HE doesn't want us to struggle in our life, yet, it happens. Why? MOST of our problems are effects of the choices we've made, or of the choices other people made, and also partly caused by the cruelty of this world. We just have to learn to surrender our problems to GOD and let HIM take charge...allow HIM to lead you!

So, here's my prayer for you:

I pray that GOD will heal you...your mind, that you may open your thoughts to GOD and allow HIM to work in your life...your body, so you can accomplish the tasks HE wants you to do...your soul, so you may find PEACE, JOY and LOVE.

Remember, when your at the lowest point in your life, expect good thingsto happen. They say that when your down there's no other way but up! Hang in there and PRAY!

GOD BLESS YOU!

JRA

Think about this. No matter how bad things are going, there is somone who is always in worse trouble.

Why cant there be a show about animals in gas chambers. I love animals and believe that gas chambers should be banned. Have you ever seen the videos on youtube in N.C. on it? You will break out in tears. They spend over $40,000 in gasing these animals to death. Why cant that money be spent on a shelter and putting these animals for adoption. Some are young ones and some are old ones. Who has the right to murder these animals. It is not the holocaust. Who has the right to play God. Last I checked God created men, women and animals. I would lose my mind if I lost my animals. I think it is time to get the word out. Many people want to help and they dont know how.

AP3

Seek legal advice. You will need a lawyer so it is a good idea to call the "bar association" to get a recommendation for someone experienced with your financial situation. I'm not sure if you have done much about it, but for goodness sakes don't go doing anything rash._sheesh Your life will go on despite the rollercoaster that you are on. I'm not sure if you are a religious/spiritual person, but prayer is always a help to calm down and think constructively and Eckhart Tolle has some useful tools that a person may be able to use.

Are you only using the Email system? Get out your phone book and call people, call temp service's and update your resume'.

I think that Phil Mcgraw's website may have some handy tips for employment, have a look over there, never know what you may find?

If you have photography experience, advertise in your local paper for weddings or call up those wedding planners see if you can get some work that way, do some shots for the newspaper?

You'll get there.. Know that you are not alone, I'm almost in the same boat with you but on the other side of the World, been there done that with the marital thing, still got a few patche's to get through but I will succeed and so will you. Your kids are an inspiration but do it for you.

Sorry about your sis by the way, these things seem to happen all at once.

My number one advice. Stay away from any booze etc; Don't touch it while you are going through this time, it will only stagnate progress and exaggerate things which are unnecessary like being over anxious. Not saying that you have or will, it's a just in case.

All the best

Jinda

U r not alone, God is right beside u during this troublesome time. Now is the time to give your problems to him, if only u allow him and be patient. I promise he will bless u. I want to share with u just how awesome God really is, I lost my 3 month old daughter 1 month ago I thought I was going to die, but I got this calm feeling(God's spirit) within letting me know that my daughter is fine. Every morning I drop to my knees and thank God for the strength and guidance he is giving me. So what I am saying to u is TRUST GOD, he does not give us anything that we can not handle. Don't give up, that is the easy thing to do, fight and have faith. God Bless U.

alwalter

As I read your blog, tears begin to stream down my face as I began to think about the challenges that I've faced with in the past eighteen months. But through each challenge, I can only TRUST GOD. When that small voice tells me to give up and do it my way, That Strong Voice tells me that it is not "my will but THOU will be done." Even as I continue to stay steadfast in HIS promise I know that my end has been deemed VICTORIOUS through my challenge.

As a single mom responsible for the livelihood of three children, upkeep of our home, recent expenses for my youngest brothers funeral expenses in addition to losing my job, I know what prayer can do. I've found that sometimes people plant negatives seeds in the mind of those that are weak and because of that seed, the negativity can fester and bloom. It is our responsibility to pluck the weed and destroy the root to ensure that the bad seed does not flourish anymore. Each day I say a pray for those planting the bad seed that they learn to know MY GOD and that they begin to TRUST HIM as I have. No, we may not have the wants in our lives like we had, but HE continues to supply all of our NEEDS just as HE promised. Recently when the eleventh hour appeared, HE showed UP and showed OUT, RIGHT ON TIME. Remember, when you've come to the end of your rope, that's when GOD, shows up.

I've learned to ENCOURAGE myself through this struggle as I allow HIM to order my steps through the stepping stones of life until I reach the devine destiny that HE has decreed for my life. My servitude is to HIM and not to man. I was asked when I was released from my job, why didn't I follow the grievance process, the response given to me by GOD is "To Grieve is to mourn for the lost of something near and dear to us, a process of healing and moving on". I believe that one must begin to be perceptive to those whom God place in our paths, be it coworkers, friends and family members. Be perceptive to the direction that God has in stored for us. Recognize when our season is over and the transition must begin. Seek what is purposeful in our destiny and if it turns out that what we must say good-bye to what we held so near and dear to our heart the let it be so. Pack your bags and move on, with the understanding that this was for but a season.

I can recall a minister speaking on the parables of the talents, in his message he noted that resources are given according to our ability to use them. God will always make it possible for us to do what HE has gifted us to do if we really want HIS will in our lives. We need, then to discover or uncover our talent(s) and put them to work. One day we will know the ultimate fulfillment of our purpose..."Well DONE". Don't allow situations and circumstances to affect your faith.

Be Blessed.