May all your prayers be answered. Look at this as a stair case you are needing to climb and know that you need not climb the whole stair case at once, take it one step at a time. Remember that at times of trouble it may seem that God isn't hearing your prayers but he does and as Isaiah said "He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless" so hang in there and I will keep you in my prayers.

PS. Have you tried talking to your landlord for help?

Hello bsine313,

Thank you for having read and writing back....i have been hoping that I could maybe get a little feedback on what I should do and maybe receive a blessing or two from someone's prayer....Thank you for your prayers...they are very much appreciated. I spoke to a priest in confession and i told him that I feel like God has forgotten me and he said that He hasn't. I couldn't help but cry at that time because I feel that while I believe my love for God has grown in the past few years, and my effort to change my some habits that I know is not pleasing to Him, I still feel as though well....kind of forgotten, because I am struggling and i know that if i lived without what causes me anxiety, I wouldn't have to go through the daily things i have to do to just get by the day. I will try to remember what you wrote to me, in fact, i will have to email it to myself so that I can have that as a reminder, as well as the reminder that God blessed me with your note of kindness. I never really talked to my landlord; when we first came to live here, she emphasized on the fact that she doesn't want to get "stressed out" with complaints, so I have kept it to myself and my boyfriend....she owns only the unit i am renting,....and I am assuming that because it is like a condominium complex, that each unit is owned or rented solely by one person....and unfortunately there are no restrictions in smoking within your own unit in the city i live in.

I normally would attempt to talk to the neighbor, but because i have did that in the last place i lived at, my neighbors were so reluctant and inconsiderate that they didn't care even when they saw my nose bleeding infront of them...moreover, they did it deliberately on the last day that i had to move,,...when they didn't like the fact we were making noise in the morning......something we couldn't prevent because ....we were moving multiple things out of the apartment.....so they just rebelled. I know everyone is different, but I guess you could say i don't want to take a chance again,...especially since there are probably 3 people that smoke in that unit....and old habits die hard for some.

so for now, I am just going day by day, hoping that I will get out of this situation, because not only do i have to deal with that situation, but of recent, a new situation that i can put up with is my other neighbor, who have brought this new dog into their home that has been pee'ing on our doormat.....she insisted that it was not hers...but the way i look at it, she has a new dog and my doormat has never been wet in the 2 years i have lived here.....plus the first time we found our doormat wet, we also found dog poop right between our doormats.....our doors are inches away from each other and we are the only ones living on the upper floor.

sooo, i suppose, the best thing i can do is count my blessings and remember that you were one of them when you were kind enough to write back and send your prayers on behalf of me.

Thank you bsine313. In case you don't get to read this, i hope you won't mind, but i think i will copy and paste this, and email it to you.

Feel free to keep in touch.....you'd be my first "oprah" friend.

Take care, and God Bless you.

My dear,

God is always pleased with us. He is the source of all love and never abandons us. If we feel abandoned (which is a form of fear), it is because we have allowed our ego (self) to have control and distort our perception of our world. It is the ego which perceives displeasure, fear, anger, etc. Even though it may seem impossible, when faced with difficult situations, send prayers of loving kindness to the other person(s). When you send forth loving kindness, you are actually wrapping your soul in a blanket of love and protection. Over a period of time you will notice more inner peace and calm and, no matter what is occurring around you, you will remain grounded and unperturbed.

Another thing is you MUST document everything that is happening. Not, to seek revenge at any point, but as proof that your personal space is adctually being invaded. Purchase a notebook and inexpensive digital camera and maintain an accurate record of all that is happening - along with dates and times. Do not, however, embelish anything. Just the facts, ma'am. Just the facts. Also, do not call, but write your landlord, explaining the situation. Keep a copy of the letter for your own records. You should check you lease to see if there is any mention of smoking restrictions in the building and you may also want to contact your local police and/or health department and tenants' association regarding smoking in buildings (illegal in New York) and harassment. If they do not handle this type of situation, perhaps they can direct you to the right authorities.

I would also like to suggest three books I: (1) "Daily Guidance from your Angels," by Doreen Virtue; (2) "Daily Meditations for Practicing the Course," by Karen Casey; and (3) "The Secret Daily Meditations," by Rhonda Bryne. I read a passage from each before leaving home every day.

When I get up I begin with "Thank you, God, for another day," and then say the Jabez prayer:

Prayer of Jabez: What is it?
The Prayer of Jabez comes from the Bible. In 1 Chronicles 4:10, we read: "And Jabez called on the God of Israel, saying, Oh that Thou wouldest bless me indeed, and enlarge my coast, and that Thine hand might be with me, and that Thou wouldest keep me from evil, that it may not grieve me! And God granted him that which he requested." The prayer is composed of four parts. First, Jabez asks God to bless him. Second, he asks God to enlarge his territory or increase his responsibility. Third, he prays that God will be with him and stay close. Lastly, Jabez asks that God keep him from harm so that he will be free from pain.

Prayer of Jabez: Why is it important?
The Prayer of Jabez reveals that Jabez understands what many people do not -- there is only one God and He should be the center of our work God wants to bless every life. But, we must first make the choice to invite God into our life and ask for His blessings. Jabez wants to succeed and increase his sphere of influence for God. The specific sphere of influence is not important. What is important is that when we want to reach for goals and accomplishments that we have God on our side. Proverbs 16:3 says, "Commit thy works unto the LORD, and thy thoughts shall be established." It is critical to understand and practice this in a close relationship with God. Further, it is equally important to stay close to God and rely on His continued support and guidance throughout life. Jabez clearly knows and prays specifically to the One who can protect him from evil and pain -- God. At the end of the verse it is clear that God approved of this faithful prayer by granting it. It is also important to see that Jabez was passionate in his plea to God: "He cried out to the God of Israel." God wants to hear that we need Him through passionate prayer.

Prayer of Jabez: What does it mean to you?
The Prayer of Jabez reminds us that everybody struggles with choosing to rely on himself or God. Whether you are a focused Christian
or just searching to find out more about God, life is a growing process. However, it is very clear in reviewing the Prayer of Jabez, as well as the rest of the Bible, that God is faithful in caring for those who seek Him. Jabez sets a great example of how God wants everyone to come to Him through constant and passionate prayer. If you are looking to start a relationship with God or improve your existing relationship with Him, start with prayer. God answers prayers when you trust Him (1 Chronicles 5:20). Prayers to God also please Him (Proverbs 15:8). We can all learn from Jabez and faithfully pray to God always in everything that we do.

I know this has been long, but hope it is of some help and I send you prayers of loving kindness.

AVA

Hello Ava,

Thank you for your note of encouragement and compassion.

Most of all, thank you for your prayers.

You had mentioned the words displeasure, fear and anger. Those are what I have been feeling for some time now especially in the last 2 places i have lived at (one of them including in the residence in which i live in now). i think it all comes initially first from fear...fear of becoming ill from the harm secondhand smoke can do...short-term (allergies, nosebleeds, and shortness of breath...and God forbid...long-term...whether it be from my apartment unit or from just walking and inhaling it) after the fear comes the anger because i feel that "illness" would be caused by people who i feel are inconsiderate of those who DO care about their health. I suppose this thought stems from seeing so many parents smoke infront of their children..toddlers and babies...even dogs....and to me it's like....these young helpless ones who don't have a voice to say..."can you not smoke because i don't like that or it is not healthy for me to inhale that?" One incident I witnessed was a mother smoking with her car windows down with an baby in the carseat behind her.... these kind of situations just upset me so much it turns to anger.........and well, ava, at this point, even if a part of me would like to pray for the other person.....it is so difficult to...and i know i would probably have to let go of my fear and anger.....but not sure how to begin.....when i know they are potentially putting my health at risk.......

I know what you say is of great significance and truth,..and it is probably something i need to work on....rather pray about....because Lord knows im going to need His strength and wisdom.

As for the rental lease or agreement....in the city that i live in, there are no restrictions.....i used to document everything from the other complex i lived at before...my sister told me the same thing.....back then.....as for this place....i think because they own the place.....there really isn't much i can do.....

I have been looking for a job but havent had any luck......i am hoping i will get this one job that i applied for online yesterday....but haven't heard anything,....but i really do hope i will hear or better yet get the job because it would help me move out of here eventually....and maybe i'll be able to find a place where it is a non-smoking community.

Thank you again Ava, for having taken the time to read and write back to me. Your message as well as from bsine313 were both long...but were both very much appreciated. There was this one priest that I used to be able to talk to that used to say to me that it was God that brought me to talk to him and God that chose him to be the one -- to be able to be there for me. Unfortunately, he is in a cloistered setting where he is not allowed much outside contact. He has such a wonderful spirit that I wish everyone who needed to talk to someone about anything....that they could go to him....but I suppose God has a special plan for him.

sorry for the sidetrack i took there...

my message was a bit too long there too huh?

Thank you again Ava for your prayers, ....feel free to keep in touch.

God bless you.

..for an earlier posting......i meant to write....about the mother driving......who had a baby in the backseat with NONE* of the windows rolled down....

The first thing that comes to my mind when reading this frightful situation is the immediate need to protect yourself physically with a little spiritual help. Imagine the brightest white light sweeping under your feet and wrapping around you, working from the feet to the top of the head. Then imagine that you are now inside a giant protective bag of light and pull the golden drawstring at the top and tie it off. The universe and the laws that be will be aware of your intention to protect yourself and move accordingly to adjust the situation. It also provides peace of mind that all is well and providence will then move for you. I do this when I am about to drive a long distance and pull the "bag" up around the car. I also do this when I am in the company of negative people or in the vicinity of aggressive behaviour - pretty much whenever I am in fear. I find this to be very comforting and gives me renewed energy and vigour, KNOWING that I am safe.

I am not a kooky, crazy woman - but this method works wonders. Give it a try. Positive thinking is one thing but BELIEF is so much more powerful

Good luck.

Psalms 46, "GOD is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble."

I'm sorry that you have had such a hard time. Begin to see your way out. If it is your desire to move, GOD will help you. One important thing you must do. Once you pray and ask GOD for HIS help, then you must believe that HE can do it. HE just has to get the Glory.

Keep pressing your way. Peace can be yours.

Thank you cozinoz.

I haven't been on oprah.com in a bit and read the last two most recent postings.

I am sorry that you have experienced your fears, but at the same time, much more glad that you have found a special light that eases your fears and worries. For me, i call that "special light," Jesus, God, and the Holy Spirit. As much as I love them, and I know they are with me day in and day out, ..... i think i just have to find a way to be more compassionate and understanding.....something that i know He would want me to be, because afterall, in my beliefs, He sacrificed His Only Son who died in a such a painful way so that I, along with all of His children, be saved. I don't mean to sound preachy, it is just that while I am struggling with my fears....maybe I am suppose to understand somehow....why I must be "slow to anger." He had every reason find blame while being hurt and hung on His cross...but Jesus didn't. And rather than putting my energy and anger to those who I don't understand................maybe i should be praying MORE?...for what i hope for........i have prayed and prayed.....but still no job offers to jobs i have applied to....jobs i know I am capable of doing.....or at the least I know i am capable of learning while on the job.....but unfortunately no luck......this is what i don't understand....He knows I want to get out of this apartment and live peacefully... i just don't know how if I am not given the opportunity so that I can.....

maybe I'll have to talk to Him and listen to what He has to say.

as for you last comment....no....i do not believe you are kooky crazy woman..... the fact that you said kooky....it let me know that you have a sense of humor and are just as normal as me...because as much as i sometimes feel "kooky," for the things I do to protect myself.....i know i am normal.....

May God Bless you and protect you through all of your fears and worries.

Thank you again.

Thank you 77saved.

reading your posting made me tear up and having re-read it again i began to tear up again. But no worries.....it's just God reaching out to me letting me know that there are people out there who understand and most importantly...He does.

I willl keep my prayers going.....and I will never let go of my faith in Him....He got me out of a really bad living situation 2 years ago....and although this place is almost just as bad....if i was to sleep in the bedroom...i know He got me out of a worse living situation...for that I am forever grateful.....I just hope that He will bless me with a more peaceful home...one day soon. He is my Lord and my God.....and I know He loves me....I just have to hold on to my faith and I plan on doing that......

Thank you again for your kind words....

On OPRAH's Blog I've posted My Own Prayer That Works for Me and my friends. Try It and Let me know if it works for you.
GOD BLESS YOU

Ps. The Post Title - A RECIPE For EMBRACING CHANGE and HEALING.

Thank you aganirvana.

I tried typing in the search engine on Oprah's website the post title...but could not find it.....

I have heard about "embracing change," but have difficulty with embracing a change that is harmful to my health as well as to others, a change that I don't feel like I should be subject to accept because it is a habit that I recognize as hazardous to my health.

I don't think I am able to embrace "the habit" that people choose even when they know it is harmful to their health. Moreover, it is even more upsetting to me when the people who choose bad habits...don't care about how it affects other people....from babies,...to toddlers...and adults.....especially those with chronic allergies or ailments...especially the elderly....and yes....even their pets..........from my perspective, "some" people just care about whether or not they can light up in the comfort of their home even when people bring it their attention that they are affected by their habit...esp when they have an alternative like lighting up outside..........for me.....i don't have respect for them or their habit....... I write this because I have seen so many parents who have young babies or children in their stroller or being carried by a parent whose toxic habits are being inhaled by these children......and it is NOT fair to them ....i also have these feelings of "irritability" and disrespect arise because of my own personal experience from people who did not care enough about their neighbor and only about their "right" to light up in their unit......which to me is nothing more but selfishness.

so while embracing change can be a good thing in some aspects.....embracing some changes.....like someone else's bad habits...... is not healing at all....rather harmful to my health.

I do not believe that i will ever embrace what can do harm to me..........and as for those inflicting harm to me........indirectly or directly.......not so sure....that is something i will have to explore more within myself.....but for now....i don't think i am capable of doing so.....since i don't believe I have much or any respect for people who don't respect their body or their health.

If you do not know about what you speak of, do not judge, better yet, try not speaking; in this case,...writing to someone whose situation you no nothing about......

First, who in the world said I have a son??? I think you are seeing or reading things.

Second, I believe the title of my posting is "please pray for me." and yeah, I am writing to strangers....my boyfriend is not a stranger....and he is already helping as much as he can......

Third, who said I expect ANYONE to buy me a home,....re-read carefully my situation as several people already have......they have been gracious enough to offer their prayers and advice....you on the otherhand....appear to be very judgmental.....and are critical of my situation which you CLEARLY do not comprehend....

I strongly advice for you not to say anything if you cannot say anything nice....

You stated that you think l like being a victim...first off......you did not spell it correctly.....two..... being that you put out there that you lost your job your home,...and your husband....well lets see,......who is playing the victim now?

Should I play judge and jury now for your situation? like you did when you wrote to me? It appears it would be easy for me to do that....considering what you have "lost" ..

Get your facts straight before you criticize others........and next time, read C A R E F U L L Y.