I am not normally watching TV at this time. It must have been a sign from God when I turned the TV on to Oprah and Tyra discussing dating violence. EVERYTHING that was said struck so true. I am currently going through court proceedings in hopes of convicting my ex-boyfriend of assault and battery however, attorneys have told me it is quite possible NOTHING will happen to him because he has never been convicted before. So to them this is his first offense, to me it was the fith physical assault, one that almost killed me. Over a period of 3 years he has been emotionally, verbally, and physically abusive. What Brittany said on the show is identical to me! I was addicted to him, he was my drug! and as many addicts do, I relapsed several times, I continued to take him back knowing inside how wrong it was but unable to tear myself away. I felt like I couldn't live without him. I was suicidal when I wasn't with him. We broke up 4 times, always for 3 or 4 weeks then he would call and I would take him back. My children saw the bruises, witnessed the verbal and emotional abuse. My nine year old saw the physical attacts twice, and the results of the incident that nearly killed me. This incident happened on 4/6/09, for the first two months outward I appeared strong and certain I would not do it again, inside I wanted him to call but prayed he wouldn't because I knew I couldn't be strong enough to hang up the phone. After 3 months of counseling and support from a victims advocate I have grown stronger. I can honestly say I WILL NOT take him back. Now, I can only pray the courts will provide justice however I have been told that it is more than likely he will get away with at most a small fine and possibly be responsible for paying my doctor bills. I still have visible scars, I wake up from nightmares almost every night, that is when I am able to sleep more than an hour or two. The flashbacks are so intense of him punching me in the head repeatedly, slamming my head of the floor repeatedly, and choking me until I blacked out. I have flash backs of the very first time when he hit me and shoved me so hard into the wooden porch post it broke my arm. My daughter witnessed that one. It makes me sick knowing I put her thru that. And that those images will be with her forever. All those times I took him back my children would say how much they hated him, tell me over and over to get rid of him but I couldn't do it. Not even for them. As if that weren't enough, he lied to the police saying I violated the restraining order by calling him and I was arrested and put in jail. He disgusts me, and I am disgusted with myself for not being a stronger person. This is not the first abusive relationship I have been in, I was married twice before and both of them were very verbally and emotionally abusive. It's time to brake the cycle!

To all the women and girls out there........Be Strong, Stay Strong!!

Nicole