I was in complete shock when I heard about Chris Brown's "alleged" assault on Rihanna. I was relieved at first when I heard that she was no longer with him but it saddened me once I heard she had returned to the man that had so brutally hit, bit and choked her. It really disgusts me how so many women in this world don't have a back bone. She went back to him because they are "in love". If that's her definition of love, I wonder what hate means to her.

Jennifer Pedro- Portugal

I am wondering if anyone is checking on Rihanna's safety. Many things are coming out in the media that may or may not be true. Has she been seen in public and had any conversations with anyone? We have seen her from a distance only. Chris Brown has been in court, jet skiing in Miami and visiting a hotel bar. He is not in hiding at all. Apparently she is not talking with her family. That is a concern. Are we sure she is freely making decisions or not being held against her will? Has her attorney or publicist actually met with and talked with her in person or only over the phone? If they are meeting her in person, is it in private or with someone else in the room? Just asking since there are lots of strange stories of women being held against their will. Whenever there is lots of money involved, people do strange things to protect the money. Its almost as if some victims of domestic violence are brainwashed. Rihanna is a victim. Let's not forget that.

one of the most important aspects of the chris brown story that no one has really talked about that I know of - and i hope Rhiana realizes this - is that HE LEFT HER THERE. If i understand what happened correctly, he didn't think maybe she might die if she didn't get medical attention, or that may be someone might come along and kill or kidnap her, he only thought of himself.....that HE was in jeopardy. He could have called an ambulance without leaving his name. He could have done a number of things to get help for her. But he left her for a stranger to stop and get help for her. She could have been dead or dying and he just LEFT HER THERE! To me that's as bad or worse than the actual assault.

I have worked with victims of domestic violence since I was 19 years old. I believe it is so easy to judge peoples choices, when you have either never experienced DV or worked with survivors. Sometimes I feel like a 'broken record' as I try to explain to my female friends the dynamics of an abusive relationship and how it is more than the physical violence. Currently, I work with perpetrators co-facilitating a batterers' intervention group and it has been an eye-opening experience. Although publicly perpetrators will make excuse after excuse to justify their behaviors, when they are put in an environment where they can discuss their choice to be abusive, it is still shocking to me, how calculated their behavior really is.

I don't blame Rhianna for returning to her relationship with Chris Brown, and frankly I was not surprised at all. She may be a role model for other young girls, but that does not make her in any less danger than any other victim of DV. Or, any less likely to return to the abusive relationship. The reality is she is young, this is likely her first serious relationship, and she has probably had less supervision than a typical teen due to her rising stardom. I just wish people would focus on the person in this relationship who should be held accountable; Chris Brown. It seems that crimes that are typically perpetrated against women, ie rape, domestic assault, we as a society always seem to blame the victim. We don't seem to ask a victim of a mugging why they were wearing expensive jewelry, or why they decided to go to an ATM after dark. It's time to make perpetrators responsible and hold them accountable for their behavior. It's a choice, not a loss of control.

While using this airtime to teach is an awesome way to discuss domestic violence, I still want to know the answer to the question Tracy Chapman posed in 1988, "Why is a woman still not safe when she's in her home?"

In the bad old days I remember when they would just send an officer. One episode is very clear. After a fight at 1 a.m. an officer responded to my call from a payphone. He came in and helped me put my ex back in bed (he was passed out) but before I could even go check on my infant daughter the cop starts hitting on me. I picked up my butcher knife and made him leave.

Now at least there are usually 2 officers and one is female and the courts take us much more seriously since those days.

Right now I am bruised from head to hips from a Sunday night fight. My only daughter's wedding is in 5 weeks so I'm not pressing charges. If I press charges we both lose everything we have built in 9 years and so I've decided that I can take a punch but I would throw myself under a bus for my daughter.

This story is all too familiar. I know because my family has been affected by it. On August 6th, 2008, my sister who happened to be a law enforcement officer, was gunned down in her apartment complex by her ex-boyfriend of seven or more years. My sister realized earlier in the year that the relationship needed a break and volunteered to move out of their shared apartment. One night after packing a few boxes, he physically assaulted her for the first time ever... and after realizing the damage he'd already done, he voiced that he should kill her. She vacated the premises with her seven year old daughter that night and took out restraining orders, and took all the necessary precautions. After about a month and a half, she moved into her own place, unknown to others except immediate family, and was headed to work one morning. As she approached her vehicle, he ambushed, shot, and left her for dead in her apartment complex parking lot.

Although she took precautions and worked for law enforcement, there wasn't a guarantee that she'd be protected 100%. Now my family and I are left to raise her only daughter.

It amazes me that this story has centralized on media controversy and not the true issue of Domestic Violence and the people that it affects. So many of our youth look up to and idolize both Rhianna and Chris Brown, and yet the message is not getting across that this is wrong and should never happen to any man or woman. Noone cares about reputation or decreased record sales...at least I don't. I worry that our youth will take this situation and apply it to situations that may be happening in their own lives and think that this is okay, because she has supposedly taken him back. We need to continue to emphasize that the mental state of the victims, can sometimes hinder their ability to do the right thing and abandon these relationships. Although in my sister's case, she did leave and had no further contact, despite his few attempts to stalk her and violate his restraining orders. She did what she was supposed to. Unfortunately, she could not escape. I don't wish this type of occurence on even my worst enemy. Please use this show to empower women, AND our youth, to realize that LOVE doesn't require abuse, and the programs that are available to the victims, especially the children that have to witness such.

Going back to Chris Brown without him seeking professional help is like jumping into a pit full of untrained tigers.

Would you?

I am the mom of a 12 yr old daughter. When I heard that Rihanna was back together with Chris Brown after what had happened, and that she might not be pressing charges to the full extent of the law, I immediately took the time to talk to my daughter. My daughter's not really that "into" music and stuff yet -- she's sports and academics-- so she wasn't aware of the Rihanna-Chris Brown incident . She does, however, own Rihanna music because I've purchased it for her in the past. She knows of Chris Brown but does not own his music, nor will she ever. Chris Brown is scratched; I will never buy his music for my daughter after what he's done. I will not support his career in any way. Additionally, I will also no longer purchase any Rihanna music for my daughter either. Rihanna is sending a bad message that it's okay to be with a male that hits you. I have made it clear to my daughter that it is NOT okay to be hit, manhandled, beaten, or even spoken to in an abusive manner. For Rihanna to stand by Chris Brown, and/or to not fully press charges against him, makes her a very poor role model for her young, impressionable, female fans. Rihanna is enforcing a very poor message. I may just be one parent but this is my stand and I'm sure I'm not the only one feeling this way. I'm very disappointed by Rihanna's lack of integrity. When I talked to my daughter, I explained to her the possible reasons behind Rihanna's choices and how none of those reasons were okay. The main point that I feel I needed to drive home to my daughter, in the best age appropriate manner that I could, is that what Chris Brown did was bad, but even worse is for Rihanna to stay with him. I was choking back tears with just the meer thought that my daughter might ever date someone that would ever lay a hand on her. Note that I speak from experience. I am in my early 50s but my first relationship as a teenager was abusive. I know what goes through the girl's mind. I also know I didn't talk to my mother about it. I have confidence that my daughter will come to me with problems because of the relationship that we have. It's the little things that give a child the confidence to come to you. When my daughter talks to me about anything, I am totally there. I stop everything and I show interest. If you're not always there for the inconsequential things, they're not going to come to you for the bigger things. My daughter feels comfortable to come to me about anything, even when she feels she'll get in trouble or has done something wrong. I haven't had to deal with anything serious yet, and pray that I never have to, but I feel confident that she'll always trust that she can talk to me. In conclusion, YES, the Rihanna-Chris Brown incident was a very teachable moment.

Thank you so much for featuring such an important topic on your show. As a former victim of dating violence and abuse, I commend you highly for getting out this important message to younger generations. This topic was also addressed on Larry King, where they pinpointed the co-dependency of abuse. In my situation, the man I was with manipulated me into thinking that he was the best thing for me, and that no one else would have me. He also made me cut off communication with those who might have helped me out of my situation. That is how these men trick these women into staying with them even though they are suffering horribly. He confirms the woman's opinion of herself, that she isn't worth anything, so therefore, she has no right to be upset. It was not until I realized that I really did have a right to be upset, that I was worth more than I thought, that I was not a mere projection of his opinion of me, that I was able to start the process of breaking free of him. Ten years later, I still have moments of anger, mostly at myself, for staying in such a horrible situation for so long. What people should know is that physical abuse is just the most obvious symptom of a much bigger problem.

This could be a teachable moment for ALL men and women, young and old. But, in my opinion, the teachable moment is not the "charged with two felonies".

The teachable moment is the love, care and attention it is going to take to get BOTH parties in the incident, Rhianna and Chris Brown~healed, whole, and emotionally healthy to get back on their feet, and able to live in relationships without that kind of trauma.

Was it bad, yes, but it is FORGIVABLE, and human for SOME people who DO NOT KNOW how to handle their emotions, their anger, and their communication in relationships.

Both of them, did not know how to communicate, in my opinion. And, both of them can go on an amazing journey of learning of their communication and emotional dis-function, and teach the world what was wrong with BOTH of them, and what they did to rectify themselves.

I hope Chris Brown does not get much jail time, I hate seeing people in jail for long. What I would like to see is SUPPORT from all their celebrity friends and celebrity specialists (of communication and emotional stress), who are"in the know" about why and how violence happens in relationships, come to their aid, get them "working on it" and get them respectable and healed.

Should they stay together, I have no idea about that. But, they both can learn and grow, and deserve a chance to do so and not become villianized, especially Chris Brown. He has a problem, it is not him, it's the problem, someone help him. People should help others who OBVIOUSLY need help. Rhianna probably needs some too, as a matter of fact, from my experiences in life, I know she does too.

STOP VILIFYING THE ABUSER!!!!!!!

I'M GLAD TO HEAR OPRAH REFER TO THE INCIDENT OF ABUSE BETWEEN RIHANNA AND CHRIS BROWN AS A TEACHABLE MOMENT. What I hope is addressed in the show, and what I hope every woman, young or old comes away with an understanding of is this:

ABUSE IS A CYCLE!!!!!

Chris Brown was very vocal about his mother's relationship with her own abusive boyfriend for years and how much he hated him. He spoke about how he was so terrified he used to wet the bed.

WHY IS EVERYONE SURPRISED THAT HE THEN TURNED OUT TO BE AN ABUSER?

WOMEN STAY WITH MEN WHO ARE EMOTIONALLY, PHYSICALLY AND VERBALLY ABUSIVE AND DON'T REALIZE THAT THEY ARE PERPETUATING A DEADLY CYCLE!!!!

THIS IS NOT TO BLAME WOMEN, THIS IS TO CALL THEM TO OPEN THEIR EYES!!!!

Women who STAY with men who abuse them often ignore that what they are doing isTEACHING THEIR YOUNG CHILDREN TO EITHER BECOME ABUSERS OR ACCEPT ABUSERS AS PARTNERS.

These children we love so much grow up and become victims and perpetrators of domestic violence.

But then what do we do, we separate them in "good" and "bad" categories and make the abuser a horrible, terrible person, and the victim innocent.

In abuse cycles, it is just not that black and white!!!!! The cycle of abuse teachers men and women to relate in ways to perpetuate a cycle of violence. The BLAME GAME does not help!

Both of these young people need lots of counseling, and Chris Brown did not stop being a good person when he acted on his internal anger. He made a mistake but that does not make him a bad person. He needs to take responsiblity for what he does and start looking at his internal thinking -- the thinking that made it okay, that allowed him to give himself PERMISSION to put his hands on the woman he claims to love.

CHRIS BROWN IS NOT A BAD PERSON. Just as Rihanna is not now a weak, stupid women for staying with him. Rihanna needs to look at how she views herself, and what in her past has taught her that this behavior is something she should put up with.

These us vs them ideas of abuse are outdated and need to be done away with.

Men and women who ABUSE and who are VICTIMS of abuse ARE our brothers, sisters, friends and loved ones.

If we are going to stop the cycle of abuse we need to help ALL OF THEM. AGAIN: Chris needs to understand what he had inside of him that gave him permission to hit Rihanna. Rihanna needs to understand and accept what inside of her stayed and accepted it. I am sure this is not the first time, and we all know, without counseling, it will not be the last, whether Chris stays with Rihanna or she leaves him -- this will NOT be the last episode of abuse for THE BOTH OF THEM. They will go one to choose other partners that will also trigger them to either abuse or be abused. That's what happens in abuse cycles. People trade places and play out BOTH THE VICTIM AND ABUSER.

Sometimes the victim, feeling powerless, abuses the children. The FAMILY DYNAMIC NEEDS TO BE LOOKED AT.

I have lived it and seen it infect my entire family. But like many families, my sisters and brothers REFUSE to look at their own behavior, and REFUSE to acknowledge how they are passing along their dysfunctional behavior to their children.

This incident has occurred so that both of them can address their issues and heal. Making Rihanna a helpless victim does not empower her. Making Chris a horrible villian does not empower him. Addressing both of them as human beings, young people who have abuse in their past and have incorporated that sick, dysfunctional way of relating and now manifested it in a relationship is what will help.

I think Gayle was highly mistaken in her comment that Rihanna and Chris are sending the wrong message to young people. HOw can two people who do not even know how to make good decisions FOR THEMSELVES, then make good decisions for all of young people in America, in the world?

Chris and Rihanna need to take time out to HEAL THEMSELVES, and then once they have done so they can go forth and become great roles models to young people everywhere.

I am sending BOTH OF THEM a lot of spiritual love and encouragement, and I would like all of the people who watch the show and post on this board to remember that abuse has touched all of our lives, and we would want our fathers and brothers to get help just as much as we would want our sisters and mothers to make better choices. Let's NOT play the US VS THEM BLAME GAME. And let's also remember, WOMEN ABUSE, TOO.

In the news today, Rihanna was out partying last night from midnight or so until 4am at a club for her past birthday, so I guess she's alright. No one situation covers every domestic violence situation and to make her the poster child for domestic violence is unfair. It's also unfair to crucify Chris Brown not knowing the details of the incident. The public has gone absolutely crazy over all this.

Wow. You made many good points. These are not bad people. They both need help & to judge them so quickly without knowing what really happened is unfair.The only thing I would add is that Rihanna needs to control her temper too. Women often go too far & think a guy won't hit them back, then they're surprised. It's not right either way. Women need to control themselves and assess a situation that seems to be getting out of hand. If Chris had just started hitting her out of the blue then Rihanna would be a "classic case", but to my understanding he didn't she lost her mind due to jealousy over another girl. If you have to hit a guy, then leave, it's not worth it. If he's not faithful, leave.

Hitting him only brought retaliation. She didn't look at the stakes of possibly being hit back, or that they were going to miss an event that makes them both money by media and fan attention (the Grammys), she just went off on her emotions. Staying calm can save a life.

If Chris had started getting upset (without her hitting him), she could have gotten away. She could have told him she was going to be sick and throw up & asked him to pull over and then ran like hell (at least giving him time to calm down and her to get away). Women need to look at the resources around them and start thinking quick on their feet to save themselves.

This is why I can't just blame Chris Brown. Anyone who entrusts their total safety (just like their money) to another is not being wise!

No one has to vilify abusers. Abusers do that to themselves. To vilify is to lower in estimation and utter abusive statements. The abuser reduced himself in estimation & is an abuser. I will not see a movie or concert or buy merchandise if someone is abusive. Chris is an abuser who should have known better (He was an eye witness to it as a teenager). He saw what his mother went through & Chris CHOSE to do the same thing to Rihanna. It is US vs Them. Society and the victims vs the abusers. We sure do not want to pick the wrong team. Abusers need to admit what they did (no excuses or blame shifting) and get abuser counseling (a specialized field which will force them to take accountability). DV needs to be taken seriously. Throughtout the years I have gotten excited that it is finally going to be addressed as a serious issue. I am continually disappointed when the same old tired excuses come up & dilute the real issue: Abuse is inexcusable. It does not matter that he had a bad childhood experience, bad day, is young, she did or said something to anger him, she returned to him, he hit her before, she wasn't hurt that bad, there are 2 sides to every story, women abuse too, etc. Once these lame statements surface, we shake our heads and say "another lost learning opportunity" and it goes on & on & on ad nauseam.

I hope that you would also educate your daughter on maintaining her own self control too. Many women go off due to being upset about another girl or something a guy says (like calling her out her name). If any of those things happen, THAT would be a good moment to size up the situation rather than start hitting him because she could get hit back. No matter how high emotions run, the girl should try to remain calm and her ONLY goal should be to get away. Be as creative as necessary. Rihanna called "her people", but they either didn't answer or didn't recognize the number & when she got through, they didn't know it was her because she was hysterical and they couldn't understand what she was saying. She pretended as if she was talking to her manger or publicist telling them to have the police there at her house when she got there and supposedly that's when Chris lost it.

I don't think adding fuel to the fire was a smart thing to do. If she had that much time to talk to him after hitting him, she could have made a better choice. I know it' hard to think in the middle of a crisis, but it's crucial to survival. They were in a rented expensive car, she could have asked him to pull over quick because she was going to throw up & when he did, she should have run. Quick thinking can save a life.

On the other side of it, if Chris has a girl that hits when she gets angry, he should'nt date her. No guy needs a girl who acts crazy because she's upset. They are both at fault to some degree and need help, some sense and time to grow up. Even if Chris abides by all the laws (like her recording his phone calls for 3 years), whose fault will it be if she goes off again and starts hitting him?

He needs to leave her alone because they seem to be bad news for each other. However, sometimes...sometimes, police getting involved can make BOTH people feel like fools and help them to straighten themselves out. I'm sure Chris is sorry for what happened and Rihanna is beyond embarrassed because she'll have to live her life under a microscope too.