I'm 38 and 20 years ago I was living in Northern California and I got stopped in rush hour traffic around 10 a.m. by what I thought was a cop car. When I pulled over my heart was racing like it does when you get pulled over. But when I looked at the car in the rear view mirror it was a street car with cop lights in the grill. My intuition told me to drive off. I didn't listen. The man walked up to my driver side window and I noticed he was wearing plain clothes. My intuition told me, "get out of there". Luckily I didn't roll my window down. He came up to the window and told me to step out of the car. I told him I needed to see his badge. Again my intuition said "get out of there" but louder this time. Then he started yelling and banging on my window. This time my intuition was saying, "Get the F out of there." So shaking, I told him that he would have to chase me down with real cop cars and I put the car in gear and drove away. Two weeks later I read in the newspaper that men, impersonating police officers, were car-jacking, raping and killing women in the Bay Area...and I was one that got away. I've never doubted my intuition since.

One day my husband and I went shopping at an outlet mall and on the way home we stopped at a popular truck stop in Iowa that was known for good food. We ate our dinner and then looked around their gift shop. My husband went to the restroom while I took our two year old boy to the toy section. As we were standing there an eery feeling came over me like something just didn't feel right. When I looked around I noticed a woman standing in the next isle and a man standing at the other end of the isle. As I looked around the woman tried to make converstaon with me and started telling me how cute my little boy was. I simply said thank you and ended the converstion at that. As I was looking at some toys with my son I glanced up and caught the woman and the man giving odd looks and gestures to each other. They didn't appear to be together at first but when I noticed the odd exchange between them with their eyes the hairs on the back of my neck literally stood up. I got the instant feeling that they were hunting for a child to steal. I picked up my son so that he couldn't even get a couple feet away from me. Just then my husband came out of the restroom and he asked if I wanted to look around a little more and I told him "No, we need to get out of here right now". He asked me what was wrong and I told him we'd talk about it in the car. When we drove away I had a feeling of relief but felt sick to my stomach. When I told my husband what happened and the feeling I got he dismissed it and said I was making something out of nothing. I told him I know what I felt and the eery feeling was like it went to the core of my body. It was almost like something was hitting me over the head to wake up and take notice. To this day I believe that those people were there to take a child and I was not about to second guess my gut instinct. Something in me sensed danger and told me to leave and I will never regret listening to that innner voice. I didn't care if I seemed rude or not. It is a strange feeling to have when the hairs on the back of your neck stand up and something inside you is practically screaming at you to be careful.

I remember that moment when I should have followed my gut. It replays in my mind over and over again more than the act itself. I recall leaving to go on a date and my father looking at me with such pain in his eyes. I actually stopped in my tracks and knew that the outcome was not going to be good. That day I left to go on the date and was raped. Although I blocked it out for years and even tried to think that it wasn't rape, it was. I regret the person who walked away and not listening to herself and her father. In my mind I always thought that after the rape the victim is left alone. He would call me, sent me a clipping of a woman who cried rape and the case was thrown out of court. (he was a lawyer). What I did get from this situation was to listen, you know, just follow that gut. I was young and afraid. Today I am stronger. Thank you for reading this entry as I have never posted before. The show today struck a cord in me. Thank you Oprah.

A friend of mine gave me this book as a gift several years ago- she did so because it is a topic we often discuss during our lunch break! When this conversation began, prior to reading this book, I was surprised to hear that not all people believed that they had this 'gift' (especially other women)- I just assumed that all woman had to have this fear, this constant conscious awareness of our surroundings. Since I was often told, "it's just you", I just assumed that only people having previously experienced some form of personal violation (as I had) were able to now be more aware and conscious of our surroundings--had the 'gift of fear'. ...but I had sensed something was wrong when I went through my experiences. One of my concerns though is that I tend to get the feeling way too often and sometimes I convince myself that I read too much into everything!!! I got 2 consecutive crank calls on my cell phone the other day and I can't stop thinking about it till this day! (my cell is not even registered under my name!) There has to be a difference between the 'gift of fear' and 'living in fear', right?

I'm so glad Gavin De Becker was back on the show. I remember watching him 10 years ago as an innocent university student. What he said then impacted me so much I bought his book the next day from my campus bookstore. I read it in one sitting. I have since loaned this copy out to countless friends. I don't know what possessed me, but a few days ago I pulled my battered copy of this book off my shelf and started rereading it. It still gives me chills.
I'm now a 30 year old high school teacher who intends to use some passages of this text as discussion items for a class of mine. We've had a rash of very violent behaviour at our school as of late, and this is going to provide me the opportunity to help these kids develop some tools for dealing with violent situations. The U.S. is not the only place in North America dealing with increased violence both as a society as a whole and amongst teenagers. In Ontario, we are seeing an alarming trend developing--complete with school shootings and horrible acts of violence.
So, thank you for reintroducing an important text to your viewers, and introducing an entire new generation to a text that should be mandatory reading particularly for women. It has saved me in several situations, and that alone is invaluable.

Todays show was great! I was especially excited because my Aunt Dorothy was one of the guests. I remember a few years ago hearing stories about how her boyfriend was obsessive and controlling. He even tried calling my parent's house over and over to talk to my mom about why Dorothy broke up with him (and my parents live on the other side of the country). I am very proud of my Aunt for reacting the way she did to save herself and for not falling into the trap of going back to him each time he called begging. Good job today! I thought you looked great as ususal. Cindy in Phoenix

It's so true! We all need to listen to our gut feelings. It was a facinating show and I was especially interested because I worked with Shawn Rogers (the guy entering the apartment). He just seemed like a normal guy. Saw him everyday in the hallway and to look at him you would never suspect he was capable of these disgusting things. It doesn't make me suspicious of everyone but when this kind of thing happens, you just have to reflect and tell yourself you really have be careful about anyone you don't really know that well. Years ago I was grabbed by man in a parking gargage and as he approached me in his suit and tie (looking very professional), I got that feeling! Something you just can't explain but you just feel it. Luckly I was not harmed and was able to run away from him and later learned he attacked someone in a nearby parking garage a few weeks later.
I'm buying the book for my neice who is in her first year of college because I totally agree that every young woman, just starting out in their single life, needs to read this book.
Thank You Oprah and Happy Birthday!

My brilliant and strong mother gifted my sister and me with The Gift of Fear 10 years ago, and I have drawn from de Becker's wisdom and teachings ever since. I feel that this book has transformed me from one of those women who would get into the elevator with a scarey man to the woman who confidently smiles while the doors close and wait for the next car. Because I have become more trusting and intune with my instict, I feel that I am living a more fulfilling and satisfying life because I do not second guess my intuition, nor do I down play it to any of my friends or loved ones. I had the distinct pleasure of meeting Mr. de Becker in 2000 when friends and I heard him speak on our college campus. I told him about something my father had told me many years earlier: "*****" is simply and acronym for "Boys I'm Taking Control Here". He really enjoyed that and signed my book, "Liz, thanks for +'*****'+" . My mother was so proud I look forward to passing on this wisdom to my 3-year-old one day, and helping her to embrace her Gift of Fear.

Hi Oprah, First let me preface this with saying that, usually, your show brings up topics that generate conversations between myself and my daughters (I have 4). I have found your program to be an extremely useful tool in raising and discussing important and difficult subjects. However, today I was a little disturbed by your program content. My 16 year old daughter went through a horrific experience on New Year's eve this year. A friend of hers bled to death in front of her. He was stabbed twice in the heart by someone who came to the party with another guest. The murderer was only slightly known to her and she didn't particularly like him, but didn't have any intuition or any other reaction. He was sitting at the party with his girlfriend not bothering anyone. Jill, my daughter, spent most of the evening visiting in the kitchen with Mike, the victim, her boyfriend Bryce and her best friend Amber. Mike was a well liked, outgoing, friendly person who called all the girls 'beautiful' and was generous and open with everyone he met. He was an athlete who participated in hockey, lacrosse & basketball. And, was a forward on the hockey team that Bryce played defense when they won the city championship. At midnight Mike kissed Jill & Amber then went into the basement to welcome the New Year with the other guests. Then Jill heard someone scream that Mike had been stabbed. She ran downstairs to find him lying on the floor in a pool of his blood, reassuring his best friend, who was holding him in his arms, that he would be alright, it would be okay. Amber was holding one hand and others were trying to staunch the bleeding. Jill ran for cloths because the blood was seeping through their fingers. Bryce chased down the murderer and held him for the police. He was holding him on the ground and yelling into his phone for help to hurry. When Jill got back with cloths it was in time to watch Mike breathe his last and die in his friends arms. The reason I am writing is to say that in that whole horrific incident, she had no 'intuition' or any other feeling that something was about to happen. The counsellors and myself and every other parent has been trying to reassure the children that were there that they had done all they could - which they had. Jill needed to know that there wasn't anything else she could have done. Even if emergency personnel were on site, they couldn't have saved Mike. My niece described the murderer - another 17 year old kid, as someone no one would notice. She even told her mother that if she had been having a party, he isn't one of the persons that would be perceived to cause problems and thrown out. When watching your program today, we only lasted a few minutes because, like another reader observed, it kicked in the guilt and she was immediately questioning herself that she had missed something and could have saved Mike. She was distraught for quite a while and, in fact, is still upset. None of them, not one of them could have saved Mike. There was nothing to notice until it blew up. Mr. Gavin de Becker may want us to listen to our inner voices, but not every time is it going to warn us. Like Jill said, "Who would bring a knife to a party?". This was a group of Jocks, Student Council, Honour roll students. They have their faults and problems, but to Jill, someone carrying a knife is a foreign concept. And she wasn't warned by any inner voices. Often there isn't any inner voices or hints or anything and horrible, horrible things happen and she, or anyone who witnesses or is victimized, is not to be blamed for not noticing anything when there isn't anything to notice. In fact Mr. de Becker in his enthusiasm did a disservice to victims by subtly putting the blame on themselves for not noticing something.

Number one, I would like to say how sorry I am for what your daughter had to go through. However, I think you are taking the show out of context. The show was not trying to make anyone feel bad or to blame themselves or second guess themselves for not being able to predict what was about to happen. There are most definitely times that bad things happen and there is no way to predict it. It's horrible that other people can come into our lives and do horrible things that will affect us the rest of our lives. The show was about taking notice and not dismissing those times that you do get the inclination that something is wrong. It was trying to tell people to not feel guilty if you get a bad feeling about someone and possibly seeming rude. It's always better to be safe than sorry!

Unfortunately I missed the show, but I did read Gavin's book years ago and recommend it to everyone. I just read the write up on today's show and I'm quite confused with Nicole's story. I definitely must be missing some information because I don't understand how someone who knows things are being moved around in her house, and especially with the tank top, would keep staying at the house. Why didn't she set up a camera sooner and go stay at her boyfriend's place or a family members or a hotel or something. I scare easily so there's no way I could stay there. If there is more to the story that explains this, please pass it along to me.

I had my moment when I was walking my 8-month-old dog and a man followed me on a little path off a main path in a fairly populated park on a Saturday afternoon. I felt that something was off, but didn't want to be the hysterical white woman to run from a black man talking a walk in the park. He started chatting, petting the puppy, then grabbed me by my long hair, dragged me behind some bushes, pulled out a broken bottle and told me he was going to rape me. At first I pleaded with him, then I got very angry. I had taken a self-defense course in college and had some idea of how I might defend myself. Fear never entered my mind. While I was planning how to react if he attacked me with the broken bottle, I started screaming at him to let me go (in not such polite words). By that time the dog started barking too, and after a couple of minutes he cuirsed me out profoundly, let go of my hair and ran off. I found out from the police that there were other attempts in the area, thank goodness no actual rapes, but unfortuantely he was never caught as far as I know.

Another story - my brother DID listen to his intuition. He used to ride home from work with a friend who owned a motorcycle. One evening he decided to do go shopping and passed on the ride. That was the night his friend had a fatal accident.