lfergy58
Posted on Mar 5, 2008 12:33 PM
This is absolutely my favorite verse in The Bible and always always been! Meditating upon the verse has transfoemed me a few times. The action of sitting still enough everyday is a committment to yourself and to honor that spirit tha is within all of us. We are more than our thoughts and ego. I've known this and have studied everything for 18 years about awareness and consciousness. We are all here to learn this TRUTH of BEING....
One day, a relationship that I thought was a "soul mate connection" ended abruptly and abusively. I went into a tailspin for 3 years! It was the relationship that kept on giving! My ego and Spirit went into a battle. Althought the ego won for those years because I was broad-sided by this person, which I call it a distraction lesson, it brought me to this place of Reality. I thought we'd be happy and my means to an end was to be together...I was in so much pain because of all the desception that I was trying to kill myself slowly. I was reacting to it, not accepting it. I kept telling myself that no matter how much I tried to change and becoming aware-it didn't matter. I felt like people were going to be hypocrites, lie, cheat, steal, disappoint, be fake, gossip and slander your name so that they can look good. All in the name of saying they are spiritual. It was my ego that went off the deep end . My thought process was.... if they get away with this, maybe I should stop trying to live consciously and live unconsciously too, like everyone else.
I started not liking who I was becoming and thought to myself one day after crying out to God..I became still in that moment. What I heard from this still small voice is : This is not "Who I Am." My Spirit is much bigger than this or this situation and I began to switch the light on again within my soul. I started to sit again, read, comtemplate and remember that Silence. I started to re-read all my Joel Goldsmith, Butterworth, Cady and Emerson books to relay the foundation again.
I thought that I'm here for a reason and maybe I don't know what it is but I have to continue to remain TRUE to THE SELF. My real essence and no matter what I had done by reacting to this situation, it is not important to change anyone else-it is important to change my self into the Real Self. I started the journey of forgiving myself ffirst for allowing the ego to run the show but I understand now that maybe the lesson is about me. My happiness isn't depending upon another person, group, identity, or a means to an end-relationship. My life isn't to be summed up by not getting the human love I want or the ego wants. It is my relationship to The Self that I need to draw that love from and begin to experience again the self-realization relationship to the whole everyday and every moment of my life. Being thankful for my life, the only thing you get for free!
One day, a relationship that I thought was a "soul mate connection" ended abruptly and abusively. I went into a tailspin for 3 years! It was the relationship that kept on giving! My ego and Spirit went into a battle. Althought the ego won for those years because I was broad-sided by this person, which I call it a distraction lesson, it brought me to this place of Reality. I thought we'd be happy and my means to an end was to be together...I was in so much pain because of all the desception that I was trying to kill myself slowly. I was reacting to it, not accepting it. I kept telling myself that no matter how much I tried to change and becoming aware-it didn't matter. I felt like people were going to be hypocrites, lie, cheat, steal, disappoint, be fake, gossip and slander your name so that they can look good. All in the name of saying they are spiritual. It was my ego that went off the deep end . My thought process was.... if they get away with this, maybe I should stop trying to live consciously and live unconsciously too, like everyone else.
I started not liking who I was becoming and thought to myself one day after crying out to God..I became still in that moment. What I heard from this still small voice is : This is not "Who I Am." My Spirit is much bigger than this or this situation and I began to switch the light on again within my soul. I started to sit again, read, comtemplate and remember that Silence. I started to re-read all my Joel Goldsmith, Butterworth, Cady and Emerson books to relay the foundation again.
I thought that I'm here for a reason and maybe I don't know what it is but I have to continue to remain TRUE to THE SELF. My real essence and no matter what I had done by reacting to this situation, it is not important to change anyone else-it is important to change my self into the Real Self. I started the journey of forgiving myself ffirst for allowing the ego to run the show but I understand now that maybe the lesson is about me. My happiness isn't depending upon another person, group, identity, or a means to an end-relationship. My life isn't to be summed up by not getting the human love I want or the ego wants. It is my relationship to The Self that I need to draw that love from and begin to experience again the self-realization relationship to the whole everyday and every moment of my life. Being thankful for my life, the only thing you get for free!
