It is Saturday & the show hasn't aired yet, but I wanted to comment on what I know for sure. This father is a shining of example of the love that Christ has shown us in that he understands the forgiveness is not for his son, it is for him. By forgiving his son, he allows himself to being healing. My heart goes out to him because his son is on death row and therefore; the tragedy continues and lingers until after his son is executed and he has lost yet another son. In some cases I do believe in capital punishment and maybe I'm looking at it wrong, but simply for the sake of this father, I wish his son was imprisoned for life so his father could somehow try to move on instead of waiting years for another loss to come. As a parent, I understand how you can grieve and be in total disbelief and still love your child as if they were still a newborn in your arms. That is the love that doesn't just go away and is also why it hurts so much, it's still his son. Just in the clip, I see the hurt & grief on the father's face and it made me cry. I will keep this father in my prayers and know that God will not allow this to break him and somehow (that's how I know it has to be God), somehow this man will see light in his life again. I am truly sorry for your loss and please know that there are and will be many more (after this show) people continually praying for you. God Bless You.

I understand Mr. Whitaker's forgiving Bart, honestly I do. It's his son, it's his only surviving immediate family member, I myself believe that forgiving people of their wrongdoings is necessary. However...

There are many of us across the world, that played an online game with Kevin for several years. We all felt like he was our own brother. I do know also that on occasion Bart played Kevin's character. Kevin spent endless hours helping people out in the game, he was funny, giving and knowledgeable for such a young man. Perhaps these are some of the charactistics that Bart had a problem with in saying that he hated his family.

Kevin's death rocked our online community to the core. We all felt his loss tremendously. I cannot even begin to express how deeply it was felt. If you had access to the boards we all posted on at that time you'd have some idea. The outpouring of sympathy and the consoling done by so many TO so many people was palpable in that fantasy realm.

Bart has been posting in a journal called "minutes before six"...there are some disturbing posts there. I understand the need for some outlet even in prison . I'm not really sure how he expects to be treated sitting on death row. I'm not saying he should be abused or neglected even though reading some of those posts certainly makes it sounds like that's his treatment.

Bart arranged to have his family taken off this earth, 3 times before he was successful, his father has forgiven him, he sits on death row, his father's last family member.

It wasn't too long after Kevin's death that our online world began to collapse, whether it was losing a friend that started it, we may never know. Our collective hearts went out to Mr. Whitaker in posts and other means and mine still does. Trying to grasp losing a son and wife and dealing with the fact that it was caused by another son is not something I would wish on anyone. He has said that he will go to heaven and he hopes that Bart is there with them, but Bart needs to ask for forgiveness from a higher authority and after reading his journal I'm not sure he gets that.

R.I.P Kevin

/salute Eonwe

I have been praying for a show on forgiveness.....to me....it is my greatest weakness....I believe I am the third poster on this conversation....m1m2m3....said it perfectly...that we forgive in order to begin healing....and to the 2nd person who posted...thank you for giving us more details of how wonderful Kent Whitaker's late son, Kevin, was.....I cannot wait to watch this show today...Thank you all again...GOD BLESS YOU SOOOOO MUCH....

I am watching the show now but I'm confused on something. How did the father (who survived) not know that it was his son who shot him. Was the son MASKED? I don't recall them saying on the show. Did the son HIRE someone to shoot them? The father said they walked in from dinner & were greeted with shots. Well, the son (Bart) was with them so if he was the shooter, how did he arrive home before them to 'greet' them in the entry way with bullets?

Also, how did the family not know he wasn't in college? Weren't they sending in college tuition? Wouldn't the school say 'why are you sending us money when he's no longer enrolled?'

Forgiveness. A subject greatly overlooked. Not forgiving, the one thing that determines moving forward, healing and personal growth. Thank you for covering this very important subject. I appreciate, deeply, the courage it took for Kent to share with the public, most have so little to forgive in comparison.

I struggled with forgiveness myself. I left a job, after eight years, and the owner was able to ensure no one in my industry hire me due to a non-compete clause I signed. many job offers, outside my non compete, were rescinded simply to avoid the threat of a lawsuit. Who wouldn't avoid that! This man was a very and respected business owner. This man helped me bury my 19 year old son, then saw to it that I couldn't keep a roof over my tow remaining children's head. I was a single parent, sole support. I lost my home, and for a while, my direction and my hope. Last year I was able to write him a letter, intent on closure and release from my anger. In the letter I acknowledged all he did for me, he went to the funeral home and paid the costs of my sons funeral and allowed me to pay back with no interest, and thanked him. He responded immediately in writing and in person, acknowledging, in between the lines, what I was forced to overcome.... and applauded me.

How I love humor, not only did I need to forgive him for my own self growth, but who I forgave didn't even realize he had to be forgiven. That was simply an exclamation mark on the reason we forgive is for ourselves, not for the perpetrator.

I am headed out to by the book "Dare to Forgive", conscience, yes, to have none is hard to comprehend and frightening when you do. How many are out there with no conscience? How terribly sad for them.

Lori

I too was very excited about this show mainly because I knew some of the parties involved. I can answer a few of the questions from Stephstef. Bart was not the gunman - he actually hired a friend to wait in the house for his family to return and his intent was to kill his entire family. His father is luck to be alive. The gunman and getaway driver have been sentenced to prison also - one for life without parole and the other for 15 years (I think).

Kent and Trisha were wonderful, loving parents. Kevin and Bart were the center of their world and they loved the boys with everything they were. They were trusting parents and gave Bart college money directly and he was to pay the college. He took the money and used it for his own purposes. I've wondered myself how they couldn't know he had dropped out but Bart was a good liar - an exceptional liar that was able to convince them he was doing everything right. Also, I don't think Kent or Trisha had any reason to mistrust Bart.

The entire story is sad. I respect Kent for his ability to forgive and I hope that someday I can forgive as well. At this point, I'm still angry that Bart took two incredible people out of this world before their time. I know that Trisha and Kevin are waiting in heaven to welcome Bart with open arms - I just hope Bart has asked for forgiveness so he can meet them there.

I too played the online game with Kevin and I remember when the announcement was made on the community message boards.

Those of us in the "guild" or group of players that spent so many hours together, were all devistated by the news. Kevin (his online name was Eonwe) was the most generous, caring and humorous guy. If you were feeling down and out and happen to mention it to our group of friends, he was the first to send you a private message with some random comment that would make you laugh. If you needed help doing something in the game, he was the first to volunteer as many hours as it took.

As one other poster here said, the outpooring in our community was something I had never seen before and haven't seen since.

Many people signed the memory books posted shortly after the families services. Many people shared their greatest memories of Kevin and for not "knowing" someone face to face, his death rocked our community.

I haven't seen the show yet but I will be watching today. I know that forgiveness is truly the greatest thing to do in this situation and I respect Mr. Whitaker's decision. I can't imagine how it has shaped his life but I know that his story will touch many people as Kevin's life touched many people across the world.

R.I.P Kevin - much <3 for Eonwe.

As I just finished watching this show, I am left confused by lack of sympathy in which Kent Whitaker was treated. Kent Whitaker bravely told the story of his oldest son taking the lives of his wife and other son and attempting to murder him as well. I felt that the entire show he was left defending himself on why he didn't see signs of this coming or how he could forgive his son. He has gone through an unimaginable tragedy and was not treated with the sensitivity he deserved.

First of all, he was repeatedly asked why him and his wife did not react to the fact that police said his son made a comment on murdering them. Any normal family would believe their son had he not previously shown signs of being a sociopath. He also was continuously asked why when he realized his son had lied about school why he didn't see him as the main suspect for murdering his family. Many young people lose their way and decieve their parents about doing poorly or dropping out of school and this does not lead to murder. Finally, he was asked how he could live with his son after he was considered a suspect. This was Kent Whitaker's only family member left and he chose to believe him.

While his instincts were wrong in the end, it was certainly not up to his father to see an unimaginable tragedy life this coming. He should have been treated as a survivor and someone who is amazingin his capacity to be able to forgive. Kent Whitaker has gone through a horror that has left him alone and he was treated on the show as an author, not as someone with an amazing capacity to forgive and someone working to find hope in his tragedy. He should have certainly been treated with more sensitivity.

I just received an email from my sister, and I couldn't agree more with what she said when discovering the topic for today's show.

I watch Oprah to be uplifted and empowered. I listen to her Soul Series interviews repeatedly. I know that life is not all sweetness and light, but we need a break from all this negativity -- now being passed along to us from our favorite lady. Here's an excerpt from my sis' email re today's show:

"Like I said before, I've stopped recording her show. It's just been depressing.....'the family hooked on heroin'...'the Mom most hated by America'...'Forgiving the Son Who Killed My Family'...give us a break Oprah!"

As for me, I've started recording Ellen now. She's funny, generous and sweet, and even when covering a serious topic, I don't get the same ghoulish feeling I get these days when watching one of these episodes on Oprah's show. So, I've just stopped watching it when the topic is something like these, which it often is these days.

I love Oprah and have recorded her shows since way back in the VHS days, but I've taken it off auto record on my DVR and am now monitoring the topic beforehand to make sure it's not another negative subject. Sad but true.

Come back, Oprah. We need you...especially now. Think I'd better go listen to Byron Katie's interview again.

Kelly

Yet again in the attempt for the media to provide the shock value story, a killer is given attention that the dead victims are not allow to have. As usually the case I'm sure there is a foundation or book to be had stemming on this case..does the names Nicole or Lacey?ring abell.All that blood money going around and yet we are in a recession!!tsk tsk

okay this must be a sign of some sort, but I have a nephew who displays some of the same signs as this guy. And my bother and sister in law have the same naive attitude toward there sons behavior. Wow I cant believe what I'm hearing.

Dear Oprah, I am watching this show at the moment and I feel physically uncomfortable and very sorry for Mr. Whitaker. Your body language is so cold towards him. He needs your support through this very difficult interview. His son is going to be put to death. His family and life as he knew it has been destroyed. I understand that this young man needs to be executed and I am not a religious person. But this is his son! If you did not feel the need to be emotionally involved in this topic, then you should not have done this show. I am very upset with how you have conducted yourself today.

I am the step parent to a child that I ultimately feel is becoming what Bart became. He is 15 yrs and we just started finding out how disturbed he really is. I have tried to tell my husband but he doesn't see or is in denial. My step son was committed for a week last week but he is now back home. I fear for my son's safety and mine at this point because I provided the notes and drawing that got him committed and he was sent home with keep doing the counseling and remain vigilant. How do you actually get the help a child needs before he becomes a predator and you the prey?

The passage that Oprah kept referring to where the son who killed his family described himself as only have the external characterists of a man is a paraphasing of a passage from the movie American Psycho (possibly it was in the book too).

I think one thing that isn't mentioned is that the love you have for a child is one of the strongest emotions a person can have. Because of that love you want to believe in your child. If your child is a chronic manipulative liar a lot of times you are the last to realize this because you are in the middle of it and you can't see it.

When I heard exerpts from his letter to his dad it broke my heart. My son has manipulated me his whole life and I still want to believe him, still want to believe he's changed, that I'm not receiving lip service with what he thinks I want to hear. He's a grown man and still worries me. He is divorced with two children and just told me the other night now much he loves his kids. In his next breath tells me about the ride he took his oldest child on his motorcycle - getting up to 130 mph. and how much she enjoyed the ride. He laughed at her mothers reaction. When I questioned him about how he would feel if something happened to her and he said if something had happened it would have happened to him too, unconcerned how it would effect his other child, her mother, or his parents would handle the loss. He doesn't seem to be in touch with anyone's reactions or feeling than his. I thank God nothing happened this time. It's hard to have a son that you can't believe or trust. I can't imagine how Bart's father was able to deal with everything that has happened to his family. My heart goes out to them.