I just lost a man who I have been involved with for 7 yrs on Friday. He told me he didn't love me anymore. We have a son who will be 3 in December. I'm severely BROKEN. I've Lost my Spirit. My child keeps me motovated to press forward, I can't let my son down, I have so much on my plate, I even quit my job friday to try and salvage and talk to save our relationship...He still walked out.... Read more on my blog it gives more details.

I know one thing about being unfaithful to a spouse I DO NOT BELIEVE...

and that is that it is GENETIC...as the evening news casts stated last week....

Could you believe THAT ONE???.

JEEZ.....

I put a blog up about where are the single men that don't cheat and did not get one repley back.Do they still have men or a man out there somewhere that want a good woman in his life that don't cheat.

Of course.

'THUPID ME!!!....I get it!!!

SINGLE MEN......DON'T HAVE TO CHEAT.....THEY'RE SINGLE...!

HA...GOOD ONE....

Kittie, do not despair. It may sound cliched but the only thing that can heal your wounds really is time. Don't give up your life for a man who has chosen to leave. Try to get your job back, surround yourself with friends and family, and think of anything but "winning him back". The only likely way he will come back is if he sees you moving on with your life, being happy and confident and not appearing hopeless without him. He may then realise what he's missing. If he doesn't, he isn't worthy of you. You are no good to anybody, especially your son, if you revolve your life around a person who has walked out on you. Think of your son and how much he will respect his strong, independent mother when you come through all of this with your head held high and your dignity intact. Chin up.

It will be interesting to see what Gary has to say about men cheating. On the flip side, why do you think women cheat? I believe that a key to marriage is sexual intimacy. If your significant other is not "on the same page" in this area of the relationship, it becomes easier to stray elsewhere to receive that level of intimacy. To make matters worse, many people close their minds to possibility of positive change. He/she may believe the problem can be solved by ignoring it or refusing to seek medical help. With an increasing number of men using Viagra and the like, do you believe the problem is bigger than that? Perhaps we are searching for the wrong solution... What if the problem is more than inbalanced hormones?

Of course there are men out there like that. Keep your chin up.

I agree, in theory, but in practice maybe inbalanced hormones is all that it really takes to ruin a relationship or marriage. It would be nice to think that people are willing to talk and listen to one another and I really wish that it was that easy. I mean you are married or in a relationship with this person shouldn't they be the first person you talk to. It seems to me that more and more I see couples on opposite sides believing that they have to make the other person involved lose in order for them to win. Relationships should be the exact opposite. Both parties involved should recognize that they are on the same team and to do that they need to have similiar goals or at very least an understanding for the other's goals. Back to the topic at hand, sexuality. Sexuality is one of the topics that both parties need to see eye to eye and I think a lot of the problems stem from the fact that one party minimizes the others plight. To one person they may think that this is a huge problem while the significant other may just see it as something that needs a shrug and can be ignored. In a serious relationship sex is as big of an issue as religion or child rearing and it should not and cannot be passed over.

Kittie: Keep your chin up. This too shall pass and I promise that it will. My ex husband cheated on me and I was devasted for a whole year. I barely made it to work everyday, I went days without showering or eating. Ironically, tomorrow would have been our wedding anniversary which is the same day the "Why Men Cheat" is airing. I did alot of soul searching, crying, etc... Its been just over 2 years and while it does occasionally still hurt me, I can promise you, you will survive. I have found peace in myself and the funny thing is that I am happier now than ever before. I'll keep you in my thoughts.

P.S. While there are many men out there who are bad, keep the faith because good, honorable men DO exist. I haven't found one yet (prayers please!!!), but I know that they do exist

Dear Fr. Joe,

I'd like to thank you for your service to this parish community. Your love, devotion, friendship, and spirit are a shining example to us all. It is humbling to be one of those who hear you at morning mass as often as I do. NEVER dumb down your homilies, always speak the truth, and always...always...always challenge this parish to grow past what it thinks possible.

Since I'll never have the opportunity to preach a homily, if I share a "lay" person's perspective, maybe you might weave my comments into a homily, or an article from a voice of one of your own.

Divorce is the cancer on the soul of marriage. Like it has been said about cancer, who hasn't been touch by this disease, and who among us has not been touched by the disease of divorce. Husbands, wives, kids, parents, friends, parish, school, workplace, organizations, and the list go on.

Dr. Phil McGraw has a book, "Find the one you want-Fix the one you got..."Love Smart." The book put simply put, communicate, communicate, and don't stop communicating!!!! Well, the real author of the book of life, Jesus tells us to do this very skill. Because I have gone through a divorce, I still remain a hopeless romantic...even through the pain, grief, loneliness, isolation, fear, doubt, tears, (yes even for a man), I would still want to speak to my ex-wife to some how heal the massive, massive scars that divorce causes!! When I hear of a couple getting married, I wish them 100 years together and to die in each others arms.

I know that women & men look at communication differently and there in lays the challenge. Women being the gathers, needing to talk to the fellow women in the field about where the best spots to gather the most for the family/community so no one would go hungry. Men being the hunters, needing to remain silent as to not scare off the prey.

Marriage like anything else in life worth having is worth working for. Having a trim waste line is work....being able to bench 225lbs. is work....living together for 75 years is work....

Fr. Joe...there is so much hidden pain in the world because of this disease called divorce...it could stop a team of oxen in its tracks.....or better said.....stop the trust of my generation!!!! What, 50-55-60% of marriages are ending? Then the wall of the sexes is built. She said, he said. His fault, her fault. What God has joined, let no man put us under.

When I hear of a couple breaking-up, my heart breaks!! I was married for 17 & one half years. I was with my ex for 24 & one half years. She was my "high school" sweetheart....and remains the only woman I really love.....I wanted to grow old with her....I still pray only the beast for her...although I know she hates me......

Our church needs to find a "cure" for this disease!! Our church needs to preach about this on an on going basis...!! Not once a month, once a year, but every chance it gets. Are we up for this challenge??? If we don't heal this scar, we will die as a civilization. We may also die as a church.

We all start with so much promise, so much love for each other....then it turns to acid!!

Thanks Fr. Joe.

Divorce...what a system of laziness.....didn't you "love" that person in the first place...? There are so many reasons that blow my mind of both sexes of why people divorce...? The reasons for the deteriorating of relationships are many.

I'm just here to remind folks that the wearing down of these relationships happen slowly...day by day...and often are not recognized only after years afterwards. The way that I would counsel couples before marriage...and during there relationships.....is that people will evolve...dare I say change...which is only a natural part of life. Sometimes with the crud of life people change....some times because of events that have happened that the couples have not spoken about.

I think that it's odd that the couple that supposedly started out loving each other in the beginning wind up hating each other. It would be refreshing if, (and I'm not saying when a women is being beaten or raped, or being cheating on...or otherwise abused by a husband) a woman who says they loved this man, would maybe figure out where the wheels came off the relationship. That is when the woman is looking to get out. I am saying the same thing to the man when he would be getting out as well.

Some times in would be more useful to fix a bridge that once worked than tear it down completely. It's the fidelity of life. Couples should not be afraid of knowing that like all good things in life....it takes work. Much like working out or eating well, of sleep, or taking care of children or work or anything else.....takes work. Couples should realize on a daily biases that they need to guard against and scrub off that crud of life off their relationship...!

I describe this as my "barnacle" homily. All of us know and have seen a ship....that's crossed the ocean and is covered with barnacles that have attached themselves to the hull of the ship. They slow the ship down...they hold sea-water that tends to advance the oxidation (rust) of the hull...they use up unnecessary fuel...and they hurt the dock where the ship is harbored.

Well the barnacles are the words...actions...hurts...and the interactions that occur between people in relationships. If not taken off the hull or the interaction of the relationship...they with cause all of the detriments of the relationship.

What a lot of couples don't realize is that all relationship evolves....and will like everything in life change. It's in the understanding that all things evolve is the strength of relationship. If a couple understands that evolution is a natural part of the relationship....there is no fear when things change. Everything grows...ages...and becomes mature. Couples need to do the same.

Words....actions....hurts....and all interactions between couples are the barnacles....and the lack of freedom to understand the evolution of relationships are to blame

I am the victim of a cheating husband. THere are multiple victims involved when a spounse cheats, including the children who see their parents in a highly emotion state. Also, there other ramifications that I am sure the cheater does not think of: std's and other diseases to say the least. I have heard many men say they cheat because they were not getting affection or attention; yet they behave badly or in a manner that does not indicate they want attention. It is hard to ever trust again.